Attack of the DOKU-MON!!

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This is how Yih Seong looks like when he's stressed.

Haha.. chill bro, you can't be the one who's burning out.. it should be me =P

PS - Gambate to all my batchmates in Summatives 2 and EOS! We will survive this.. we HAVE to, coz there's 4.5 more years to go ^^"

PPS - die.. i can't finish everything.. 4 more days to go.. die.. then again, wtf am i doing online instead of studying =/

To be burned out ..

A month ago i promised myself to start studying for Summatives 2. A little more than a week before Summatives 2, i burned out.

It's never happened before. Me burning out. I've always been the type to take things slowly and take my own sweet time. Reading through notes for the first time while the others are already way into their third round. Maybe what they say is right, slow and steady wins the race. At least, it proved to be the best way of studying for me.

And then Monday came. Having only finished Endocrine, with Piss, BS, and Sex to go. One weekend, 9 weekdays. I stared in horror at all the lecture notes i was supposed to cover in that short time. Too much. I stayed back in the library to study. I looked at the pile of notes in my hands. My eyes scanned through the same sentence, over and over again. My mind went blank. Those words thrown together to mean something meant nothing to me. I couldn't register what i just read seconds ago into my head. Then i realised. I couldn't study anymore.

*flashback*
The only time i remembered i panicked was during the ASEAN scholarship interview years ago. I remember sitting in front of 5 adults, just looking down, coz my mind's not working anymore. I couldn't think of what to say, how to answer their questions. I must've looked like an idiot sitting there not saying a word during interview.

The other time i nearly panicked was during the SPM English paper. The essay paper. I chose the question i would've liked to write about the most. I tried to plan what to write, but nothing came out. So i thought maybe if i start writing i'll get over the writer's block. Bad idea. 30 minutes since the exam started, i didn't even write an introduction yet. Palpitation. Sweat glands on my palms went into overtime. Luckily i got hold of myself after a while and changed the question, and wrote a page plus full of crap. Miraculously, i got A1 for an essay on something i would've never care - "Advantages of Television". The topic for the essay i failed to write was.. "Friends".
*flashback ends*

Back to Summatives 2. It was Monday when i burned out. I couldn't read a single sentence on the lecture note and understand it. To be unable to study with just a little more than a week to Summatives 2 doesn't make me feel good. Yet, i can't will myself to study. I stared at the stacks of papers in my file. Too much. Seconds turn minutes, minutes turn hours, hours turn days.. i was running out of time.

Today is Friday. I've not covered much since Monday, but i've gotten myself back. I realised i stressed myself out too much to finish studying after seeing how little time i had. I realised i crave for food every time i'm stressed, and peanut butter on bread is just the best thing i can make for myself. I realised Naruto is a great manga, especially fun to read with an exams just around the corner. And i realise that it wasn't me, it's just that Nilesh Kumar's notes are incomprehensible =P

PS - hehe i was just crapping, don't take me too seriously, especially when i blog =P. To all the Sem5 that've just finished their Phase 1, well, all the best to you all! =) Damn jealous of you Sem5 ppl la, having survived 5 semesters in IMU edi. Gonna miss all of you.. ^^. And to all my batchmates, STOP READING BLOGS AND GO STUDY DAMMIT!

PPS - On a side note.. my parents are coming up tomorrow! =)
STILL READING? OMGWTF WANT TO FAIL SUMMATIVES 2 IZZIT? GO STUDY!

PPPS - oh sorry, forgive me, i was just too stressed up. Now, go study ok? Good boy/girl! =P

Masquerade : A Night Unveiled

Friday night. Masquerade was held in the auditorium. Lots of performances. Interesting. Funny. Touching. Loud. Very very loud. So loud it produced a 10.0 reading on the Richter scale. THAT loud. Most of all, it was the most entertaining night ^^ (and hot too.. the air-con chose the best time to break down.. -.-")

Me the volunteer controlling the lights, along with Paul and Jack with the bazooka (kinda like spotlight). Dunno why, but lately i seem to be eager to do anything.. ANYTHING that doesn't involve staring at words in the Meriab Marieb that juz don't.. can't make any sense to me (guess that's what Anatomy's about). Brought along my bro's digital camera for some pic-taking, but it ran out of battery AND memory before Masquerade even began. Sigh.. remind me to check the camera next time.. can't trust my bro to keep the camera ever-ready -.-" Anyway here are some of the pictures Chia Huan managed to take for me (she sat at the last row so it's not very clear, but hey, don't complain)

The stars of the night =P. Deborah and Jeremy practising for their performance later. This was taken right before Debz ran back home to sleep. 4 hours before Masquerade begins.. -.-"

So while waiting for Masquerade to begin, me went to check on the Tai-chi gang..

..and there they were. But only those hardcore TC people are around. Wonder where everyone is.. (err.. no, i wasn't supposed to be down there with them =P)

After a lot (really lot) of pestering from Chow, the CMAC gang finally took a picture with the oh-so-nice-must-take-picture-with-it Christmas tree -.-". Altho Christmas is still far far away.. (Chow's posing again.. sigh -.-")

..and 4 hours are over in a flash (yeah right..). Masquerade finally started. And people start dancing around on the stage.

Chow's favourite came to live on stage. They were singing "Phantom of the Opera" (argh.. the horror..). Haha.. but they were really good.

Another highlight of the night. 3 violinists playing Canon in D Major. Perfectly synchronised. All rite.. close to perfect =P

And finally, the performance we've been waiting for our whole lives =P. Ivy playing the keyboard, Jeremy Munis playing the guitar, and Deborah singing like a devil. Err, i mean angel. Yeah, angel.. altho i can't make out what that devil was singing. I mean.. angel. Right.

And lots more superb performances, Chia Huan didn't take pictures for me.. damn sad wei =( (haha.. kidding la, thanx for taking those pictures). Plenty of singing. There was a song by Planet Shakers (i think) which literally shakes the whole auditorium. Acapella by an all-boys group and an all-girls group (getting a little sexist, are we?). And then the 'Ultraman Dance'.. yeah, ULTRAMAN dance. Funny can't even begin to describe it lol. Then there's an interesting musical play by Sem 2 (especially the scene where the slave slashes all the queen and princes.. haha the effects was just right-on - think anime ^^). Close to the end was the 'Shadow Dance', very nicely choreographed and nice 'shadow' effects. Oh yeah, and one of our lecturers sang a Beatles Beegees song too. Go JPJ! =)

That's all i should think. I definitely gonna come to watch again next year, if it's ever held again. Or i might join next time. After i learned how to play like him. But first i have to get my guitar back. And learn how to play guitar.

PS - i have to get my hands on the video of the whole Masquerade ^^

The crap they made us read ..

*yawn*. Finally finished my AIR (Assigned Independent Reading) topic. Took me almost 4 hours to read the article and filter related crap from pure bullcrap and stuff-so-crap-i-wasted-half-an-hour-of-my-life- reading-it (FYI, less than a third of the whole article is relevant). Just for my own reference (and anyone else who's still procrastinating), i'm posting it here.

"Illness" and "disease" do not mean the same thing. Illness is as perceived by the patient himself, based on his experience, and may mean pain, loss of or change in specific physiologic functions, or decrease in performance level. An illness can also be non-physical, and may mean an impact on his social life, varying degrees of vulnerability, feelings of isolation, regression or fear.

However, different individuals have different threshold for acknowledging the presence of illness. This variation is largely influenced by family background, economics, culture, education and previous illness experience. An individual is more likely to take on the 'sick role' if he stands to gain from it.

Besides that, symptom recognition is not standardized in every individual, and depends on personal factors, context and culture. A typical symptom may be considered being "ill" to an individual but not another.

On the other hand, disease is as seen from the doctor’s perspective. Usually, a person is said to suffer from a disease after objective measurements such as physical exams, laboratory data, x-rays, endoscopy, histology and methods of molecular biology have been made. By comparing the data obtained and the disease model carried from medical training, a doctor will then infer the presence of a disease.

Considering the difference between "illness" and "disease", a person can be ill without the presence of disease. He may perceive himself to be ill based on his experience, although medical examinations’ results did not establish the presence of disease. The said "illness" is based on the patient’s own perceptions and experience.

A person can also have a disease but not self-define as ill. He might show the typical symptoms of a disease but does not consider himself to be suffering from an illness. This might be due to different threshold or symptom recognition among individuals.

Unrelated news: Signed up for SPCA Club and Photography Club today. That makes it 11 clubs i'm in? O.o

To be sick ..

The last time i was sick i thought i nearly died. That was a week before the A2 exams when i was confirmed to have contracted dengue. Thank god i survived, but then i only got one of the milder strain. Don't even wanna think of how getting the other strains feels like..

Fast forward 7 months, and i fell sick again. Started with a really sore throat last Sunday. And coincidentally, it was the day we planned to have a surprise birthday celebrations for five people. Yup, have to surprise all FIVE of them. Paul, Chee Mei, Chia Huan, Lay Chin and Yew Wen, all December babies. Didn't really plan properly, nobody really know the plans until the last minute. But that doesn't matter anyway =P. That makes SEVEN birthdays in bout 2 weeks. The bill for all the presents and cakes and props broke the RM800 mark. Which means each of us had to fork out 55 bucks O.o . And my dad wonders how come my money runs out so fast.. blame those birthday boys and girls! =P

Missed the lectures on Monday coz i couldn't wake up. Didn't get much sleep the night before, had a bad headache. Went into the library at 10.15am, and the first thing i heard is "Hey, you not going for PBL ar?" from May Ee. Fuck. Dah lah i'm not feeling good at all, i missed lectures that morning, i didn't do the research for PBL yet, and i forgot i had PBL that bloody morning. So either i grab the nearest Meriab and cram everything i had to know about menstrual cycle in 15 minutes, or go pick a spot in the library to sleep. I really don't have to tell you my choice, do i? =P (hey sorry ya to my PBLmates.. i'll pass the notes to you all next session la)

It's Wednesday today. Had to pop pills the previous 3 nights to get some peaceful sleep (those mountains of paracetamols i got from dengue proves useful after all haha). Miracle pills, to quote my bro. And really, they work wonders when you have fever or headache. Looks like i need to stockpile more of them.. (considering i gonna get a hell lot of headaches in years to come).

And i wonder.. if you become a doctor, would you prescribe medicine to yourself when you fall sick? I guess so.. which means we can save some moolah by not having to see a doctor anymore! Another advantage of being a doctor.. haha =P

Which reminds me of my AIR topic, which i was supposed to be doing instead of typing this post. "A person can be "ill" without the presence of disease, or have a disease but not self-define as ill." WTF? Sigh..

PS - looks like this plague of sore throat/flu/fever is spreading like wild fire among IMU students across batches =/. Hope everyone recovers soon!

If only there's no exams to look forward to..

Sigh.. i guess the last major event of this year for me is over now. Only exams, revision and more revision to look forward to this year. What fun.

It's the World AIDS Day last Thursday, 1st December. Chow and the others went to Bukit Bintang for some singing session. Me 'fang fei kei' coz got choir practice that day. And the day before. And the day after. Heck, we've had choir practice every weekday for the past 2 weeks =D. Maybe that's why there's less and less ppl in the student lounge the past 2 weeks? haha =P

All that practice was for this 'big' event today. MSD and CrusAIDSers organized some talk on AIDS in IMU this morning. Us members of the Choir Club were to sing a song as part of the performances. A malay song, 'Satu Bangsa Kasihi Semua'. It was the song chosen for this year's National Day i think. So hard for me to remember the notes. I still got them wrong after the first week.

But this time we had more guys tho. Used to be only me, Jem, Paul, Timothy, and Hong Lim singing the 'I am Cow' song. Haha.. man, i miss that song. That's the only song ALL of us still remember how to sing. By all i meant not only the Choir Club. Haha ;)

Matthew, Gary and Shin Yin joined us this time. I was surprised, frankly.. there's more guys from our batch who want to join choir ^^. I didn't even know why i joined in the first place. Maybe i like to sing? Haha.. i've never even sang anything in front of anyone before before this. Still, i had a lot of fun in choir. Don't know whether we all will still keep singing till we're in Sem 5. Coz 90% of the choir members is from Sem 1. Does this mean we won't have time to do anything else when Sem 1's over? I hope not. I'll seriously die if all i can do is study. I bloody hate studying.

Summatives 2 in less than a month now. If only i can start studying. Getting results better than what you expect can really make you complacent. I'm not bragging or anything, bragging is just a selfish way to boost one's ego at the expense of others. And my ego doesn't need any boosting anyway *shrugs* haha =P. I'm crapping again. Now that i have nothing on for the rest of the year, maybe i'll get bored enough to study. Or sleep. More likely sleep. =P

PS - since my previous post, there's been so many birthdays i nearly forgot who's birthday is when. I'll just wish them all at once here. Yeah, i'm lazy. (btw please correct me if i'm wrong..)

Happy belated Birthday Winnie! (29th November)
Happy belated Birthday Sebastian! (1st December)
Happy belated Birthday Vincent! (2nd December)
Happy Birthday Pizzle Kizzy.. err.. i mean, Paul Kong! (TODAY)
Happy Birthday Chee Mei aka MC Cheemz! =P (TODAY)

And of course, a special tribute to an old friend of mine (didn't think i'd forget you, did ya?). This is the first ever e-mail i received from him (and sadly, the only one -.-") - uncut, unedited, and uncensored. Guess who?

T'was 2nd December, 2002..
[+/-] show/hide e-mail

Full name: *beep* (no....Lawrence IS NOT my real name) Single or taken: What else? Everyone hates me : ) Sex: The last time I bothered to notice, male. Birthday: 29th November 1986 Astrological sign: Saggitarius Siblings: Lyn, 13 Hair color: Black, with mysterious traces of microscopic white Eye color: VERY dark brown Shoe size: 7 1/2 >*;-* R e l a t i o n s h i p s~* > > Who do you consider to be your best and closest friend?: Myself? Does this person know this?:Of course..... Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I thought it was answered in the previous section. Did you send this to your crush? : Crush? Crush who? >*;-* F a v o r I t e s *-;-* > > Color: Aquamarine Number: 9? Cartoon character?:Bugs Bunny....what's up doc? Movie: Any James Bond film Fast Food: Pizza! Boy's name: Squall (sounds damn cool) Girl's name: No idea...... CD or TAPE?: CD Animals: Actually, I'd like a tiger....muhahahaha Game(s): Taekwando (cause it's the only thing I'm good at) and swimming! Day of the year?: Any day is fine as long as I'm there to see it. Month?: I've answered this question above. >*;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *;-* > > The last thing you ate: Mee goreng. (yum) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?: I don't wanna be a crayon....but if I got stuck as one I'd choose black because everyone uses black and it ends my misery faster. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon?: On a quiet island in the Mediterrenean or somewhere high in the mountains of Switzerland. Who would you want to spend the rest of your life with?: Of course someone who (must I use this word?) LOVE me and vice versa. Where do you want to get married?: I'm not that particular.....hahaha What's the weather like?: Nice and sunny. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: The speech...I guess. Do you do drugs?: What do you think..DUH What kind of shampoo do you use?: Fruity or chemical smell, I don't care as long as it gets my hair clean. What are you most scared of?: Hopelessness in any situation. How many TV's?: 2.... What are you listening to right now?: My thoughts. What car do you wish to have?: A Black Porsche 911 but seriously, I don't like cars. Give me a F-22 any day. Who is the last person that called you?: Leong. Do you like the person who sent this to you?: Okay, a little. How do you feel at the moment?: Tired and bored. How do you eat an Oreo?: Pop it and and chew, and chew..... What makes you happy?: Nearly anything that doesn't kill me. What's the best advice that you've been given?: "The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, but dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it." What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?: Way too many to even begin listing.... If you could be someone else for a day who would it be?: Well....an ExtraTerrestial, because I'd like to find out how they live. Who would you hate being locked in a room with?: I hate being locked in a room with anybody. The lock is the problem. Why am I locked in a room anyway? Well...if that happened, I guess it would be a snobbish and self-indulgent person. Of the following which would you prefer:- Happy or sad movies?: Happy!!! On the phone or in person?: Anything goes.... Summer or Winter?:Winter, because it's so nice and cold. Wait...is that my frostbitten ear on the ground? Hugs or kisses?: Both....but I'd personally prefer hugs, because you can do it without worrying about your breath or the person you're hugging's breath. ;-* H a v e Y o u E v e r *;-* Given someone a bath?: Yeah....myself. Smoked?: Smoking kills..if I wanted to kill myself I'd do it with a bullet to my head. Bungee jumped?: Always wanted too. Run from the cops?: Nope...I never run from battle. But I've shot them many times...in PS2 games. *;-* F i r s t T h i n g T h a t C o m e s T o M in d *;-* Red: Blood Pig: Food Zebra: Piece of Asphalt sOCkS: Hairdryer *;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *;-* Do you want your friends to write back?: Anything. Writing back would be nice....hahahaha.... Who's least likely to respond?:I think Siaw, the super-quiet person). I only sent it to 3 friends. Who's most likely to respond?:I don't think anyone will respond...hahaha...... Are you sick of filling this out?: Not really. The bored are easily amused....

Haha it's rather obvious who it is, right. Happy 19th Birthday dude =). You were right about me.. i didn't respond to your e-mail =P. I did fill up my version, it juz didn't get sent. Anyway hope you're having a great time over in UK. See ya during Christmas (i hope). Ciaoz now.

To be a friend ..

Heh.. i'm blogging less and less now. Back in college days i used to blog daily sometimes. Well, back then we had so much free time. Too much, in fact =P. And we spent all those free time going to 'mamak' and 'Home' (the cybercafe we used to patron so very much). Sigh.. the good old days..

3 months. And i'm surprised i still didn't know some of my batchmates existed until recently. Ok, it's more like ashamed of myself, i admit. But it does get me wondering.. am i being ignorant? I've been sitting with them in the same lecture hall for 3 months now and i don't even know their names and how they look like?

But then again, i'm not the only one guilty of being an arrogant, ignorant bastard =P. Everyone in my batch didn't know someone from my batch is from our batch. If that make any sense at all haha. Anyway, since i posted that i gonna be a friend to everyone in my batch before i die (read the previous post), i've been trying really hard to get to know those batchmates i never knew i had. So far so good anyway, but i can already see it's not gonna be easy..

First off, friends don't just pop out overnight. And they tend to disappear when you're not looking. That's why you can't be friends to everyone i guess. Each of them expect some attention from you, and you gotta start cloning yourself if you ever hope to give each of them enough attention. Much like when i wanted to play basketball, and there's too many players around. If i called everyone out, most of them won't be able to play much, and not be happy bout it. If i don't call certain people out, they won't be happy either.. Ok, sorry for the bad analogy, but at least you guys know the dilemma i had when i'm sending the call-out for basketball now =P. Anyway, you get my drift, doncha?

Sigh .. i know, the least i could do is try. Then i realise something else. I had this problem of thinking every person i haven't know yet doesn't have a good impression of me. I know how it came about (i studied psychology ok.. don't play play =P), but i won't blog about it right now, maybe some other time. Don't know why i'm still having this feeling now. I'm human after all, i guess.

And then the problem of me being pre-judgmental. I tend to judge people even before i know them, through their behaviour that i observed. I know, doctors shouldn't be judgmental. Nobody deserved to be judged before even being given the chance. And know what, i'm glad i was proven wrong in my pre-judgment a couple of times now. Yeah, i tend to be rather negative in my pre-judgment. Glad IMU's full of such great, friendly people =).

Think i blogged too much again hehe. Well, this would make up for the past week that i didn't blog, and for next week that i might not be blogging too =P. And just when i thought there'll be no more surprises any time soon after Chui Han's birthday, lo and behold, Jem aka Jembo aka Jemboree aka Jemmy aka Alejandro(?) started a blog! O.o haha.. all rite, i think i should welcome you to the family, huh? Keep yours alive ok.. it's now your responsibility to look after your blog =P. Hmm.. the list on the left is getting longer and longer now.. (in case you hadn't notice, i've added Li Shan's, Jia Lin's and Keat How's blogs without their permission - ok, yeah, i'm trying to stalk them online to get to know more about them haha =P)

PS - summatives 1 results out tomorrow.. good luck everyone! .. yet another reason for me to blog less and study more i guess.. sigh..

TAG! .. the sevens

Sigh.. got tagged by Yih Seong aka the bonze and Kok Lim. What to do.. can't disappoint my faithful readers =P

7 Things You Plan To Do Before You Die
1. learn cooking from my mom and grandma =)
2. learn to play extreme sports (rollerblading, skateboarding, etc)
3. learn to dance.. all kinds of dance =P
4. learn to really play the bloody guitar which has been lying around since i bought it and the piano (which i really really want to learn but didn't get the chance to) and heck, every single musical instrument la
5. be friends with everyone i meet (let's start with my batchmates first..)
6. made lives breathe easier because i lived
7. find love, fall in love, live happily ever after =)

7 Things I Could Do
1. study.. (well, like, duh..)
2. eat more (yeah, i know i need to gain some weight)
3. play more basketball/volleyball at nite
4. put more effort in everything i do (TC, choir, etc)
5. sleep at home
6. sleep in the lecture hall
7. sleep in the library

7 Celebrity Crushes
1. erm..
2. erm..
3. erm..
4. erm..
5. erm..
6. erm..
7. i don't wanna tell =P

7 Often Repeated Words
1. haha (i noticed i type this word a LOT ^^ .. and i laugh at every little thing too..)
2. wat the hell..
3. riggghhttt...
4. hungry wei..
5. do you want to eat? (complete with hand gesture)
6. zzzzzzzzzz..
7. zzzzzzzzzzzzz..

7 Traits I Look For In The Opposite Sex
1. a sense of humour
2. cheerful
3. able to take care of herself
4. enjoy being outdoors as well as indoors
5. un-diva-like (not complaining about every little thing)
6. sporting and open-minded
7. faithful and sincere

My 7 Tags Go To:
1. me bro (i know you're reading my blog =P)
2. Prasad (did anyone tagged you yet?)
3. Li Shun (harlow..)
4. Yong Chen (come on, i'm the 2nd to tag you already)
5. Yee Pei (i know..EoS5 coming..but then..)
6. Shin Yin (hey, i don't even know your blog address.. ^^")
7. Dr TS (yeah, sifu or not oso kena. Don't think can escape =P)

To be a doctor ..

This week is BS week. Behavioural Science i mean. So far we learned bout verbal and non-verbal communication, how people learn, what is motivation, and some psychology shit like that. And the more lectures i sit thru (or sleep thru =P), the more things i learned about being a doctor that i never knew. I learned that a doctor have to watch what/how he talk/act the whole time while dealing with patients. I learned that a doctor shouldn't see a patient as a disease entity; he's a PERSON with disease. And i learned that being a doctor ain't just curing diseases. It's curing people.

Ask me what my ambition was 10 years ago, and i'll say "Polis!" without a thought. Ask me again 5 years ago, it's "Engineer la.. dunno wat engineer but engineer la..". Now, i'm on the road to be a doctor. What an indecisive person i am..

Anyway, what i wanted to say is, i never dreamed of becoming a doctor until, like, after i came into IMU? haha =P. Some people wanted to be a doctor for a name, money, status or they just wanted to help others (tho i sincerely doubt even half of all the doctors will still be doctors if the pay was like, peanuts and nobody respects doctors..). Me? I entered IMU because i was BLUR. BLUR because i didn't know what i wanted. BLUR because i was a naive and ignorant boy. BLUR because i was blind and deaf, not seeing nor hearing everything that's happening around me.

I really don't know what happened to me since i entered IMU, but i do know i changed the moment i realised i was gonna be a doctor. Grew up, maybe. Maybe i realised i won't be the boy who only cares bout friends and games and outings anymore. I can't be that boy anymore. Once i leave IMU, i'll have to take care of other people for the rest of my life. I'm not looking forward to that with a sigh; it's with a smile.

"To know that one life has breathed easier because you lived; that is to have succeeded." I knew i heard that before somewhere along the 19 years of trail i left behind me. But now it means so much more to me.

Post-holidays pre-summatives blues..

It's been a week. A week since my family went back, and everyone else came back. A week since lectures start, and i start taking naps in the auditorium again. And ever since then it's been raining, every single day. Sort of suits my mood for the past week..

Rains. Always welcomed them, especially when i'm in bed with a thick blanket. It does make me feel a little bit gloomy sometimes. But hey, you gotta admit it, feeling happy everyday does get tiring too. There are days like these when i rather be feeling a little down. When i don't want to do anything else but snuggle in my bed and not care bout a thing in the world.

Yeah.. did nothing i had these past few days. Getting lethargic since holidays ended.. don't even get the urge to go down and play basketball anymore. Every day juz can't wait for the lectures to end so that i can go home and rot. Nothing much to look forward to either.. and i don't want to get my Summative 1 results..

And i seem to develop some kind of allergic reaction to Meriab.. a mere touch of that damned book puts me into a coma for 4 hours straight. Only, like, 6 weeks to Summative 2. I'll have to try to study again this weekend.. Gotta.. resist.. it... zzzzz.....

stuck in Bukit Jalil

I gotta admit.. i'm addicted to sports. (man, even i couldn't believe i said that ..)

Well, i gotta be suffering from an addiction. Why else would i feel the urge to start learning to play every single sports possible? Or that i would go down and play badminton and basketball even when i injured my left Achilles' tendon and my fractured right wrist's still hurt a little? It used to be an itch for DotA...now it's basketball/badminton/volleyball/futsal/ tennis/whatever. This is so unlike me. Or maybe this is the real me. Man.. when you pretend too much you can even forget who you really are..

Crap. I don't even know what i'm talking bout. Must be the stillness over here in Bukit Jalil's getting to my head.

Yeah, i'm stuck here for this 1 week Deepavali-Hari Raya holidays. Most of IMU students already left for their homes sweet homes, most of them can't wait to live a normal life (not studying 24/7, for instance =P). There are so few people around these past few days, the only people i see are my housemates..and the kao yoke pao uncle. Haha.. seriously, without IMU students around, this place is, like, really dead, man..

Holidays started last Friday actually. Went out for a mini-celebrations of sorts on Thursday..i only joined them at the last minute. The gang (i wanted to type guys..but then that's not politically correct =P) wanted to go Sungei Wang, half going for Red Box session and the other half for IT-stuff shopping session. Somehow, i ended up with the Red Box gang. Me? Sing?? Chinese songs?!?

Against my presumptions, i ended up enjoying the karaoke thingy. Even tho i never sang in front of ppl before (choir ain't counted..i'm saying solo singing). Even tho i only heard of less than half of the songs they chose. And the chinese characters that i can read can be counted using your fingers. But it's all right. Rather fun, actually hehe. I'm already memorising the songs for the next Red Box outing haha..

Met up with the rest of the gang after singing, like 50 songs in 2 hours- it's skip! skip! skip! halfway thru every song ^^". Went to watch "Election" at Times Square, some movie bout Hong Kong triads. And as all triad movies go, it's meaningless. Ben was snoring thru half the movie haha. After movie we went for a walk.. juz walking around there coz we have nothing better to do. And we checked out the Starhill's toilets too. Don't ask me why. =P

The few days after that had me rotting in front of the com, surfing half the day, sleeping the other half. No, it's not porn (i'm bunking in my bro's room, for god's sake =P). Me got so bored i decided to go practice some basketball yesterday..since after the holidays i won't get the chance to play anymore (damn..one year no basketball..somebody kill me..). Guess who i met there. It's Chee Keong, one of the Library Gods, and coincidentally, my OO.

He didn't go back coz there's another exam 4 weeks after the holidays, so he malas to go back. I didn't expect him to stay here juz to study, but then, it's not surprising anyway. Shot some balls with him (somehow this sounds vulgar..). Then i get some shooting lessons from him, like how to shoot from BEHIND the board. Man.. he really has too much free time haha..

Damn..this post is getting too damn long. I'll sum up the rest. Food Av closed today. Hungry. Went Sri Petaling. Tapau McD's. Still hungry. Parents coming up tomorrow. Salvation. =)

Oh btw, happy Deepavali and Hari Raya to everyone! Enjoy the precious week we have ;)

have Meriab, will study

!WARNING! : In the following post, the author might sound proud or arrogant, even. Heck, he may even have hurt a few poor souls' feelings out there while typing this. Please note that in no way whatsoever, however the following post might be interpreted, or misinterpreted, that the author's words are strictly his own, and by no means did he meant to belittle or insult anyone. If you feel like bashing him up, or flooding him with hate mails, there's a little x button on the top right corner that'll shut him up and everyone lives happily ever after. If that doesn't work, smash your head/hand/elbow/knee/foot/chest/(*insert body part here*) into the monitor screen. That might work for most people (not for the 'happily ever after' part tho).

Summatives 1 is over. Finally. I swear some of my batchmates' going to go mad if they study for one more hour..some, anyway =P. There are those who study day and night before this little test, not seeing daylight for weeks. Then there are those who sleep day and night, not seeing daylight for weeks too haha. Guess i don't have to say which group i belong in, right? =P

I do wonder sometimes..is it just me or is everyone's pushing themselves a little too hard? Start studying ages before the test, revising the lectures right after the lectures everyday, referring to countless textbooks, living in the library, literally. And this is just for the summatives. Come EoS, some people might even resort to eating the lecture notes or something..i dunno. Humans are creative creatures, no? (not this creature here tho)

Do med students really have to resort to spending more time with med books than living objects? I never seem to get why do some people put so much stress on themselves. What's with the panic? Why work so hard till you might suffer brain failure and drop dead any moment now? Why can't everyone just take things slowly and enjoy life? Why can't everyone stop going to the library? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE STOP STUDYING?? ARGGHH..NERDS!! NERDS!! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY!! .. Oh wait.. i'm supposed to be one of them, right? =/

Anyway, that's not the main idea. I'm in no position to mock or tease other people, mainly because i suppose i'm the one who's not 'normal'. Maybe Ben was right, maybe my sympathetic nervous system really had gone haywire since the day i was born. That might explain why i never seem to study for exams hard enough. Sometimes i felt i should panic because i haven't finish revising yet and the countdown is showing hours. Yet i'll take my own sweet time to study. It's amazing how you can annoy yourself.

Some people said that i'm a smart-ass, that i'm a genius, that's why i don't even need to study to score. Yeah, right. If i was i would have gotten my doctorate by now =P. And i would be sleeping the whole day everyday (no, i DO NOT do that). I'd never think that i'm smart nor agree with that, coz i don't believe anybody can be labelled smart or 'unsmart'. Dunno how people come to have that impression of me after a while, me being a smart-ass. I was never the one with the best results, and neither am i the one who can answer any question you ask (sadly, it's the other way). I do study as hard as anyone to get A, so please don't think i have a secret method to get A or something =)

Conclusion: I don't think i'll like my Summative 1 results, coz i've been wasting my time sleeping and playing the last week instead of studying. Guess i'll have to work harder for the next summatives then..which is like 8 weeks away =/. Bloody hell.. do they think med students really have no life but to study everyday or what..

med students have no life?

Some people thinks med students have to eat books to survive. Some people thinks med students' lives revolve around studying. Some people thinks med students don't even have a life.

Well, that's what i thought, like, a few years ago anyway. Coz people always say that medicine is the hardest course to take. That when you sign up for Medicine, you already signed the i'm-ready-to-give-up-my-life contract.

Only 8 weeks in, i'm already feeling the pressure on med students. Or rather, the pressure med students put on themselves. Some of my batchmates already started growing roots in the library. Reading thru lecture notes for the 278th time, referring to textbooks after textbooks after textbooks, adding essays to their already crammed notes. All this just because our first summatives is in 8 days. Scary.

Sadly, i don't belong to that group at all. Or maybe it's luckily i'm still holding onto my sanity =P. Either way, i won't be having a great time on the 24th if i continue doing what i'm doing. Studying an hour a day, playing 3 hours a day, rotting away doing nothing for the rest of the day. That's not what a med student should do, right?

At least i'm happy with my life at the moment. Two days of badminton, two days of basketball last week. Nothing can make a better week =). Yeah, i love badminton and basketball.. they're my first two loves =P.

So three weeks behind schedule, only half of my studies done, a week plus to redeem myself as a med student. Time to start spending more time with Sem 1 students' common wife, Meriab (the textbook i mean.. not the author). Yeah, i'm giving up my life for the next week.. because i'm a med student =P

Extra note: Two new bloggies were born.. say hello to my fellow med peepz Chia Huan and Chui Han! =)

Extra unwanted note: Finally found out my new favourite song's name.. My Chemical Romance - Helena! =)

too busy, i got myself..

Today was the Societies and Clubs of IMU's recruitment drive. Something like, the reps from each society/club sit at the tables at the atrium, you go to them, you put down your name if you wanna join. There's quite a lot of clubs to join, and most of them sounds interesting. As usual, this over-enthusiastic boy here got excited over everything. And an hour later, i realised i signed up for too many clubs that i won't even have time to sleep anymore if i decided to go for every activity. Whoa..that's a big sacrifice =P

Movie & Music, Chinese Chess, Chinese Martial Arts Club, Basketball, Volleyball, Tennis, Helen Keller's Society (something related to the deaf and dumb), Choir, Dance Club. 9 clubs. Didn't see the SPCA there tho..that'll make my 10th club. O.o . Was tempted to join the Adventure Club (which only has 2 new members..so forget bout it), Chinese Society (my chinese sucks..so forget bout that too), Dharma Society (looks pretty boring to me..so scrap that), Campus Friends (too many clubs..can't handle this one), Amigoo Club (no more..i need to sleep..) and Badminton (training on Sat? goodbye..).

Damn..i thought i came to IMU to study medicine. Now it looks more like i'm trying to enjoy myself instead of studying. Oh yeah and there's already a clash of activities' times..volleyball or sign language class? Wait..have to study first. Haven't even finish half of what i need to cover..damn. 11 days to Summative... garrgghh.. Get my priorities straight.. get my priorities straight..

Oh btw yesterday's my big bro's birthday! Happy..erm..21st birthday!! So fast..old liao lor..haha. Cheers to you, koko..stay happy always! Bought only one piece of cake from Secret Recipe as his birthday present coz my funds running dry..again. It's the thought that matters anyway, right? =P. Thanks to Chow for driving me to Secret Recipe even tho he looks like he's gonna fall asleep behind the wheel anytime =)

happy days..

a ball to call my own
Yup, i finally have my own ball. One i can proudly say i possess. One i can freely use anytime i want =). I bought my first basketball! (THOSE come free..and yes, i have them =P). Haha..ok i sound like a child opening his Christmas present or something, but seriously, i've never had my own basketball before. Maybe i just don't play basketball much before this =/. That's gonna change ;)

Got it for 34 bucks (ouch..) from Carrefour yesterday, and right after we got home we rushed to the IMU basketball court to play. Around 8 of us (excluding the 'cheerleaders' =P), playing basketball at 10pm. Not long after we started the Sem3 library furniture joined (coz the library closes edi), and it became Sem1 against Sem3. I don't know which side won, but it doesn't matter anyway. We had fun, and it's been a really long time since basketball standards were so low haha..

The Sem3 left after an hour, then we played 3on3 till 12am. We wouldn't have stopped playing if there's no classes tomorrow...which start at 8pm O.o . Another sleep-deprived day for me..

choir club's apparently 'best' performance
Yeah, another performance by the choir club, this time for the IMU Art Competition. Sang 'Eyes on Me' and 'I'm Cow' on stage. Halfway singing i realised my palms were sweating so much ^^. Think we did alright, though i can't say it's an award-winning performance =P. YK said it was the best performance by the choir club O.o . Apparently they screwed up the IMU song last year ^^". We broke the record for number of members too hehe. Congrats to Hong Lim, our new Choir Club's president! (argh..forgot what's that VP pharmacy student's name again...)

Happy birthday to Mommy =)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAMA! It's her birthday today, and i felt bad not getting anything for her...again. Me so unfillial son. But then it's never been a tradition in my family to buy birthday presents anyway, strange as it may seem. I hope she's satisfied with only birthday wishes over the phone =P. Me loves you lots mama! Stay healthy and happy! =)

The end of IMU Cup...on a happy note?

Yesterday was IMU Cup closing ceremony. After bout a month of rigorous, sleep-depriving training and matches, life finally gonna revert back to hugging books and lecture notes to sleep for us students of IMU. The past month had been nothing but fun, with every batch trying their best, every player giving their best. I wanted to go and support our batch's teams in every game, but somehow i found countless reasons to go against that. I'm too tired la...not free la...dunno how to go there la...Maybe i'm just plain lazy sigh.. =P

Before the closing ceremony was the cheerleading competition. I can't find any superlatives to describe it, so let's just say i would kill myself if i missed it haha ;). Yeah, it was THAT mind-blowing. Started off at bout 8pm, with Sem2 showing off their moves first. I actually thought they were great, but for one reason or another, somehow they got last =/. Then it's Pharmacy's turn. All girls team. Enough said =P. Haha...seriously, Pharmacy's team gave a really awesome performance..they even throw girls up in the air (without any guys' help!). And their coordination was just superb.. Sem4 came next, then Sem3. I guess everyone noticed.. there's so much feet-stomping and hand-clapping to make 'music'. Haha...maybe YP was right...everyone's suffering from post-Stomp withdrawal syndrome (damnit..i missed Stomp =( .. )

After that it's our batch's turn. Frankly, i thought our team's performance would look inferior compared to the others, but i guess i should've never doubt them. Why do i have so little confidence in our own team? *slaps myself*. It was the most entertaining performance, i gotta say haha. Love the 'Thriller' and 'Lady Marmalade' part..so funny haha. And i didn't even know our batchmates on the first floor were joining in the moves (they twitched their heads to the left, in rhythm with our cheerleading team ^^ - that was part of the 'Thriller' part). Guess the judges were impressed, eh? We got fourth place! Congrats ppl! =) hehe...i'd love to join cheerleading next year..it seems so much fun. That is, if my fractured wrist fully healed by then...

And last but definitely not least..Sem5 cheerleading squad. I've seen them practicing in the Atrium, and i was really impressed then. Now, watching them performing the full routine right in front of me, my opinions remain unchanged. Complete with chairs, they were nothing short of perfect. Ok, there was a few mistakes here and there haha =P..but that doesn't prevent them from clinching the first place. Congrats to the M203 squad! Guess our team has a lot to learn..i like the way Sem5's performance never stop (unlike ours, so many breaks in between ^^"). Pharmacy came second, Sem3 third. A really close fight, surely..

The final results of IMU Cup - M204 edged M203 by 2 points to claim the Cup. And us M205 'pau' the last place haha =P. Of all the sports, we bagged golds for guys' basketball and international chess only =/. Ah well, there's always next year...and next year, we'll grab the Cup from M204..even if that means prying it from their dead, cold fingers muhahahaha (*evil laughter*).. =P

On a different note, i read bout some conflicts here and there during the IMU Cup. Claims that Sem5 were cheating. That referees were biased. Some say it was because of the 'legacy' left by the previous Sem5s. Apparently, this year's IMU Cup was supposed to be the first 'clean' one. The previous IMU Cups had been rigged and dominated by Sem5s, and needless to say, Sem5 always win the IMU Cup. As organisers, Sem5 had total control over the competition. More points were allocated to sports that they were good at. Sports that they suck at were dropped. Referees were always on their side. That's what i heard anyway.

Well, if i haven't heard or read bout those stuff, i'd never knew IMU Cup was never a fair competition before this. Which, i guess i've to give credit to the current Sem5, M203, who tried to make it as fair as possible to everyone. To any M203-ian reading this, you all did a great job really. I don't think us Sem1 would realize bout IMU Cup's 'legacy' if no one mentioned it. That means you all succeeded in starting a new legacy of fair play ;). Thanks for working so hard hehe..

Sigh...no more IMU Cup, nothing much to look forward to now, except exams and more exams..till next year's IMU Cup. Gotta increase my pace to catch up on my studies, there's so much i left behind..and our first Summative is in 3 weeks time!! Arrgghh.. *scrambles off to grab the closest lecture note to cram into my head*

this weekend..

The weekend didn't go exactly as i planned, but then again, when did anything go exactly the way i planned ..

Friday, 2 days ago, Karanbir made an announcement that shut everyone and everything up (in my head la =P). Something about SPCA Club of IMU asking for 20+ volunteers (fat hope..) for the Pets Fair at the Mines Exhibition Hall. The moment i heard that announcement, something stirred in me. I knew i couldn't stop myself from signing up for that. Even tho every cell in my body's begging me to keep my weekend free (i've been getting less than 7 hours of sleep for the whole week..5 hours short of what i need =P). Even tho i didn't know what we're supposed to do...even after the whole thing's over ^^"

And so i woke up at 7.30am on a SATURDAY. O.o Yeah, i couldn't believe i did that too. haha.. Of those who signed up (i swear there's at least 4..), only me and Chee Mei turned up yesterday morning. Jenny drove us to the place, and after standing around the ticket counter for half an hour waiting for tickets to fall from the sky, we finally got into the hall.

And then there were dogs. Lots of them. Big dogs, small dogs, fat dogs, skinny dogs. Everywhere. German shepherds, chihuahuas, poodles, you name it, it's there. I've never been to a pet fair before, so it's really interesting...for the first half an hour.

An SPCA member greeted us and brought us to the SPCA stall, briefed on what we're supposed to know, and left me and Chee Mei there.
List of what we're supposed to do (not according to order in priority):
1. Get the visitors to sign the petition (you know, the one we signed before..something bout raising the penalty for cruelty to animals by 50 times..or was it 500 times..)
2. Sell the SPCA clothes
3. Answer any question the visitors might ask (wtf.. we weren't even SPCA members)

List of what we did:
1. Sit
2. Stay

So as you can see..we didn't really do anything. The 'real' SPCA members came back after bout an hour, taking over me and Chee Mei's work (that we didn't do anyway). For the next 4 hours, we poked and poked and poked the puppies in the cages at the stall next to ours till all the puppies got bored of our pokings and fell asleep (even when we kept on poking ^^"). Haha..we also walked around the hall.. nothing much actually, besides the 'obstacle course' and fashion parade, there's nothing much to see..

Our last hour got us a bit more active. 3 dogs were brought from the shelter for some 'obedience' performance - to show that even non-pedigree dogs can be trained to be obedient. After their performances they were free to roam around.. as far as their leashes allow them to. Me and Chee Mei were given the job to hold the leashes, which was ..fun haha =P. Mine was called Doggie..and she has one hell of a story to tell..

After Doggie gave birth to a litter of puppies (which the previous owner didn't want), she was locked up in a room while the puppies are abandoned at a construction site nearby. Everyday, she was only allowed out once to do her business, eat, etc. And everyday she ran over to her puppies to nurse them. And each time she came back from her puppies, the owner would beat her up. Then lock her up till the next day.

This went on for about a month until SPCA was informed about it by some neighbours. And after some persuasion the owner gave up Doggie to SPCA. (why the hell keep a dog in the first place if you aren't gonna care for it??)

Some people can be so cruel sometimes. What the hell did the dog do that it deserves such treatment. Sigh.. Anyway, we went back to Vista at 4pm, and i fell asleep on the new couch after dinner. Forgot to take my contacts off. Hope there's no side effects for that =/

Sunday, woke up at 1pm, wanted to study, but ended up playing computer the whole day. Sigh.. i gotta find my motivation soon...

PS - we found out something interesting at the Pets Fair.. there's a dog breed called Chow Chow! Lol..

Me and Chee Mei agreed that it looked like Chow a lot, doesn't it? haha =P

We learn all our lives..

I've learned..

..that it is absolutely possible to feel everything yet nothing at all.. My mood has been oscillating so much these days, sometimes i don't even know whether i'm happy or sad. Everything that happened around me, everything that happened to me, seems to pull my emotions towards opposite directions. I don't know what i'm feeling right now..what i'm SUPPOSED to feel. Happy yet sad. Elated yet disappointed. Proud yet ashamed. I just felt...torn apart. It felt empty inside, i can't feel anything..yet i felt everything..

..that for every win, someone loses..
Our team won first place in the basketball competition in IMU Cup yesterday, beating Pharmacy to it. On one hand, i'm rather happy i think, for we'd done our batch proud. Practice doesn't make perfect, it takes determination. Joseph fought his pain and led us to victory, playing with a sprained ankle. I gotta salute him for that, not many people can even claim to be able to do that. On the other hand, i felt sad. Sad that we've to throw my bro's team out of the running for gold medals to get the gold medals ourselves. Disappointed that i didn't get to play in the finals, even though i knew i'd jeopardize our chances. Ashamed that as Wei Loong puts it, "We don't deserve to get first place. Only 3 players in our team are good..but the whole of the other team is good." We win, but at the expense of others..even others more deserving than us.

..that a single event can change your future..
Just received a call from my Dad. Bad news. Lee Foundation decided to cover only half of my tuition fees in IMU. Which means my Dad won't be able to afford to send me overseas. Which means i won't be going to PMS. No, i'm not sad. I already understood years beforehand that i might not be able to study abroad, considering my family's financial situation. But i had hoped, and it's not a good feeling to have your hope shattered, even if it's just a glimmer of hope you had. Disappointed maybe, but no, i'm certainly not sad. Just.. broken.

..that friendships are easy to build, even easier to break, but as difficult to mend as a smashed tofu..
Sometimes it happens. Friendships, built up over months, broke down over weeks, and never mend completely. I never liked to see friends fall out on each other, for it hurts my heart when i see friendships collapsed. Maybe it's because i'm a sentimental person, maybe it's because i don't want to be caught in between two 'ex-friends', maybe i just want everyone to be friends. Whatever it is, whatever i think does not matter as i hold nothing over others' friendships. They make and break friends as they like. I can just hope they make up and not ask me to choose sides instead.

..and that in doubt or confusion, friends make me happy =)
Came back from dinner today at Sri Petaling with Chow, Ben, Jane June, Vincent and Jackie, and i felt more 'banana' than ever haha. This is the first time in 2 years i've been in an all-Mandarin speaking group (even tho i'm quite surprised to know they can speak Mandarin so well). Something tells me i have to improve my Mandarin/Cantonese ^^". Had laughs, lots of laughs, and i felt that everything's that has been dragging me down seem so insignificant in my life. Life's meant to be lived. And living doesn't include feeling down over nothing at all. So to my friends, cheers and LIVE~

PS - gonna be a volunteer at the Pet Fair organised by SPCA at the Mines tomorrow =). Signed up for it coz firstly, i love animals hehe. Secondly, i'd most probably be sleeping my weekend away anyway so might as well i do something productive =P.

Update, update...

Sigh...with so many things happening the past week, i got too lazy to blog. Some days i felt like blogging yet i realize there's nothing to blog about.. then there are days that are the complete opposite. Sometimes i wonder...do i blog for myself, or for other people? That's when i realize...this is becoming something other than what my idea of a 'blog' is. So...'unprivate'. Guess the internet's no place for private stuff heh. Everytime i post, i have to think of what others might think of what i posted. So much restrictions. Ah well, i'll just split my private and public thoughts to separate blogs. Everyone's happy that way, right..

Enough of my crappings. Decided to join the choir club last week just to try out something new. I've always loved music, any kind of music. But no, i don't sing in public because i'm too self-conscious to let other ppl hear my bad singing =P. And with just 3 days of 'practice', we sang "Here, There, Everywhere" (which was sang by Clay Aiken during American Idol) during the National Health Science Debate closing ceremony. 3 days of practice...for 45 seconds on stage. Haha..at least the audience enjoyed it (to a certain extent =P). Next up on our choir group's fixture is the IMU Art Competition on 4th Oct...we'll be singing "Eyes on Me" =)

Spent nearly 400 bucks last Saturday. RM250 goes to my new Reebok basketball shoes (coz my last one was decimated by that damn tar basketball court). Went all the way to MidValley to find some shoes. Cheapest one was RM230, so after much consideration i just grabbed a pair at random haha. Just hope they can last a few years at least. RM120 goes to contact lenses. Don't ask me, i don't know what the hell was on my mind when i decided to buy contacts. I sort of just thought of buying contacts, walked into Focus Point, and came out less than half an hour later with 120 bucks less in my wallet. Didn't even compare the prices, thought of how much i gonna use them, etc etc. A compulsive buyer, i am. Sigh..

Just bout 2 hours ago, our basketball team made it into the finals =). Managed to edge my bro's Sem 5 team by only 3 points. I didn't get to play, but i didn't have much confidence in myself anyway. Wanted to brush up on my basketball skills (i can't even dribble properly..) but don't seem to find the time to practice coz there's always ppl playing on the IMU court everyay. I'll just wait till IMU Cup over then..

PS - gonna donate blood tomorrow, this'll be the third time for me hehe. What to do, my blood in great demand mah =P (actually my blood type is O la haha..)

PS PS - damn PBL made me slept only 5 hours this morning...ended up sleeping thru the whole day's lectures and even almost slept during PBL ==". Must sleep early from now on..and start doing PBL research earlier..

bon voyage..

One of my best and longest-serving friends left Malaysia yesterday morning. I've known him since Standard 5..that's 1997. Still remember the time i sat next to him, and we'll whack each other everytime class ends haha. Don't even know how it got started. Turned into some kind of routine i guess haha. But we don't really know each other until end of Standard 6, when the first 'slumber party' is held at his place (actually it was Eric who invited me =P). Sigh... feel so nostalgic thinking of those times..

Fast forward 8 years, and we've seen each other grow up so much. We laughed, we fought (ok, it's me kena bantai by him all the time). He's since overgrown his violent tendencies (that's why i'm still alive i guess haha), and i've stopped being his punching bag. There've been so many times i stayed over at his place, it's like a free hotel to me. Birthdays, festivals, BNOs, LNOs (oops =P), even new year parties we had celebrated at his place (coz there's a pool downstairs!). There was once he invited me to his and his neighbours' new year eve's party...the thing is, i know nobody there.. O.o Haha.. till now i still wonder why do you invite me alone to the party? Feels so out of place at that time haha..

Now, after so many years of being stuck together (not that either of us wanted it haha), he's finally leaving us (yes, finally.. =P). While me and the others here are stuck in IMU, Malaysia for at least another 2.5 years, he'll be flying off to Sheffield University, UK. Caught up with him yesterday morning while he's in transit to get on the plane from KLIA to UK, and managed to give him a bottle of vodka as a parting gift hehe (imported from Kiosk, SS15 =P). We thought hard on what to write while having breakfast at Melur (actually only YS and Pat's thinking hehe). Rejected "Friends Forever!" coz it sounds too gay haha. In the end it was written "Whitish fluid from all of us. All da best!". Wanted to add "PS - We left some space for you" but ran out of space haha.

Bon voyage, Yong Chen aka killakat aka slimy shitt aka uno catalysto! You better bring back souvenirs that's worth our taxi fares to and from KLIA =P. Dun be a stranger, ma nigga!

'What? You say you'll be back in 3 months time? What a waste of time to send you off..'
Haha =P

Week 3 and i'm dead..

Three weeks. And it felt like i've been here for months. Sigh..not that i don't enjoy every moment being in IMU, just that...i'm so exhausted at times...

First, the non-stop lectures. It's draining my life force out of me i tell you =P. Everyday as soon as the lectures start, i'll go into my routine morning nap. Not that i can help it, lecturers are universally known to put people to sleep, right? And on days when i succeed in staying awake, my brain will be switched off to conserve energy. Which means i've been pretending to listen to lectures these past few days. Sigh..looks like i HAVE to become one of the library furniture soon. Tried to go library and look thru the lecture notes this morning and guess what, i fell asleep juz by looking at the papers. O.o

Must be the IMU Cup that has been making me feel so tired. Hehe..but i already knew i'll lag behind if i sign up for IMU Cup. Neway, my plan now is to get IMU Cup over and done with, then double up my pace to catch up on my studies. I'm not sure i can do that, but i really can't focus on revisions and sports at the same time. I need my 10 hours of sleep a day =P

Talking bout IMU Cup, it's not going very well for Sem1 at the moment. Already lost in a couple of sports edi, and sad to say, some of our teams don't even stand a chance at all. 1 week of practice won't get you far anyway. Thankfully we have better luck at basketball ^^. Our guys' team juz beat Sem2 yesterday. 62-30. The score is deceiving, because of all 12 players, only 3 are really good hehe. Still, a victory's a victory =P. On the other hand, girls, sigh...our girls basketball team kena bully teruk teruk ^^". Thrashed by Sem3 last Sunday and by Sem5 yesterday. The girls have been training really hard, but the other girls are so tall...and so ganas O.o . Nvm..next IMU Cup we thrash the juniors =P

And btw decided not to join cheerleading coz basketball and taichi have already killed my legs. Could barely stand when i have to go thru such torture everyday hehe. Think i'll wait for next year then. Oh, and i managed to get a preview of our Sem1 cheerleading team during taichi session, and erm, it looks rather ok at this time. Can't wait to see their performance in bout a month's time ..

And before i forget again, a very happy birthday to my little brother who turned 16 today. I nearly forgot to send him happy birthday message until my father reminded me on the phone 3 hours from the deadline ^^".. something tells me i have to get more rest.. *yawn*..

-11.17pm, 19 September 2005-

IMU Cup...stressing me up like hell (..over nth)

Sigh...'fresh' out of orientation, yet to recover from all the ragging, and we were given only a week to prepare for IMU Cup. To say how rushed all of these are, i was involuntarily appointed as the basketball rep. Just because our sports rep was my orientation groupmate and i was sitting near him and i signed up for basketball and he was too lazy and with an "I love you la, Siaw" i was entrusted the job of getting everything bout Sem 1's basketball team set up. WTF..

First things first. Our girls' basketball team was supposed to have their first match this Sunday, 72 hours away from when i became basketball rep. And there's only 3 confirmed players out of the required 5. SMSed away on my hp til it combusted to find 2 more girls. By now (11pm) i still can't get any other girls to confirm. Have to make do then. Hope the 3 girls managed to con their friends into this. If not, they'll have to play without subs.

Then it's the practicing (in more professional term, training =P). Only one day to practice. To be precise, only 2 hours. Tomorrow, the girls will get together for a 2 hour training. Wonder what can be achieved in that short time. Some more i don't know who will coach them. Sigh..just depend on 'natural talent' la haha..

The boys' team...well, can forget bout that too. I'll figure out what to do with them after the match on Sunday. Heard there's some really good basketball players in our batch. But then most of the ppl who signed up seems to be involved in other sports too. Looks like i have to burn some more of my hp credit to get them together on Monday..

Sigh...enough bout the basketball stuff. I had wanted to join cheerleading too but they are looking for 'big' guys. And heard there's more guys than girls in the squad O.o . Haha...i think it'd be really fun to try out cheerleading. Maybe after the girls' basketball training tomorrow i'll ask Yun bout it. Hope my thighs can tahan some more torture..especially after futsal and tai-chi the last few days ^^"

Gah...i can't blog any more than this la. I'm nearly brain-dead from stressing out over our girls' basketball team. I don't even know why the heck am i stressing out for. Gonna see how good they are tomorrow...hope we can get at least a medal from basketball (yeah, fat hope.. =P)

-11.41pm, 9 September 2005-

Am i getting old? =P

Sigh...i feel like i have become a lot older these past few days. Ermm..to be exact, i don't feel as young as i used to feel anymore. I tried to cut down on my spending instead of asking my parents for more money. I start to watch what i eat instead of picking at my food. I tried out the swimming pool next block instead of trying out the nearest cybercafe. I went JOGGING instead of staying at home SLEEPING O.o. I feel so... adult haha..

Maybe i AM getting old =P. This is my last teenage year anyway. A year later, and i'm no longer considered a teenager. Felt so strange that i'm supposed to be an adult soon when i'm in a state of denial deep inside. I read this somewhere, and maybe it's true.. (i rephrased it coz i don't remember exactly what's written.. so it may not have the same inspirational effect =P)

When you're 19 years old, you're not exactly 19. You're also 18, 17, 16, 15, all the way till 1.

When you feel like crying because you lost your handphone, that's not the 19-year-old you. That's the 6-year-old you.
When you feel angry because a friend spoiled your favourite shirt, that's not the 19-year-old you. That's the 10-year-old you.
When you feel sad because someone dear to you left you, that's not the 19-year-old you. That's the 14-year-old you.

So as your birthday passed by, you don't get older. You get a whole new you.

Even if you're 40 years old, there'll still be the 16-year-old you that wanna listen to that rock song.
Or the 18-year-old you that wanna try out bungee-jumping.
Or the 20-year-old you that wanna start a new fashion fad.

Hehe...i don't even know what i'm crapping here. Just suddenly wanna blog bout nothing. Now if you'll excuse me, i'm gonna check out Chinese Martial Arts aka Tai-Chi lessons in the Atrium..and no, it's NOT for old people only =P

-5.17pm, 6 September 2005-

The time of our life...

My...what long time since i last blogged. I've been pretty busy since then up to now, with me busy trying to get into IMU, busy getting into IMU, busy being in IMU, and most of all, busy entering university life, the next chapter of my life.

To summarize everything up, i received the call from IMU that i'm offered admission into the August intake on 19th (Fri). Busy buying the shirts and ties and slacks on 21st (Sun). Busy trying to get IMU to confirm me a place (coz the caller somehow forgot she called me before and called me again) on 22nd (Mon). Rushed to Bukit Jalil at 6am just to reach IMU in time for the registration on the 24th (Wed). Have to thank my mom and dad for taking time off from work to drive me to IMU =).

First week of university.. (starting uni life..)
While in Bukit Jalil, i bunked in with my bro in his tiny room. The first week went by without much interesting stuff...juz some briefings and an English test. I got to know some of the other tutees that are under the same tutor as me, but i don't see them much after that. Friday, we were split into 15 groups with bout 12 members and bout 5 Orientation Officers (OO) each. I was in Group 3. Under some really famous senior OOs haha. We agreed on our group name on Friday itself, and did our group cheers and flag during the weekend. But little did i know what was to come during orientation (tho i have heard horror stories bout it from a number of ppl).

Second week of university.. (..and then the fun starts!)
The second week was our orientation week. Briefings in the morning, and as soon as we got the chance to run out of the auditorium, every group rushed around IMU trying to get the seniors' signature. Signature Hunt is what this perverse game is called =P. Haha..actually we just chased after specific seniors and did whatever they say to get their signature. Orders include 'caterpillar race', 'horseback riding', cheer-fights, do some stupid things to some unsuspecting seniors, stuff like that. We got all enthusiastic at first, but the spirit sort of went to sleep halfway thru the week ^^". By Friday we got sick of getting seniors' signatures already. For my group at least..coz somehow by sheer coincidence or something, all the lazy people got into the same group haha =P.

Monday - the day ice breaks
There's a dress code for each day of the week, and Monday is my group's celebrity cross-dressing day. Saris did the job for most of the male members but i got special treatment..i get to wear our group leader, Rahel's dress. She's smaller than me but somehow i still got into the dress O.o . And what's celebrities without make-ups. Our faces became the 'testing' ground for the girls (who mostly never put on makeup before O.o). In the end, i didn't dare to look at a mirror so i don't know which level of hell i'm supposed to look like i come from =P. But seriously..i've never got so many 'You're hot!' from so many people before (even strangers!). Don't know if i should be happy or not.. haha..

In the late evening was ice-breakers, another sadistic activity the orientation committee came up with haha =P. The juniors (us) were gathered around the volleyball court, and the next thing we know, all kind of shit fell from the sky..literally. Sometimes it rained water, but most of the time it rained flour, eggs, butter and balloons containing some liquid that smelled like garbage (our OO later said it's water from fermented frogs O.o). It rained and rained till all of us had cakes on our hair. Torturous as it may sound, it really does break the ice among the group members, mostly because we have to huddle together in a survival instinct to be safe from those predators. By the end of the day, we smelled bad all right, but compared to the next few days, we might as well be wearing perfumes. Haha...

Tuesday - Merdeka eve!
There's a Merdeka celebration BBQ at night so there's no orientation activity planned for the evening. Much of the day was spent around getting more seniors' signatures and trying to get the smell off our orientation T-shirt (we need to wear it for later activities).

Wednesday - Happy Birthday Malaysia!
Our group got together to discuss bout the group performance and IMCC* performance for Variety Night on Friday.
*i forgot what it stands for..but it's supposed to sound like "I'm sissy". Go figure.

Thursday - the day hell broke loose (and the REAL ragging begins)
The usual stuff in the morning, signature hunt all thru late afternoon. In the evening was 'Treasure Hunt'..and if it sounds like fun, it's deceiving. Unless, of course, your idea of 'fun' is getting ink, paint, more flour, more eggs, more butter, more 'garbage water', wasabi, sambal, belacan, all kind of shit you can think of, some more water that smell worse than shit, etc on your body. 15 stations. 15 kinds of torture. More than 5 hours of 'fun'. Think 'Fear Factor'...without the fear, but with sadistic Station Masters (SM). Haha...but really, this is the most fun time of the whole orientation. I'm starting to miss it already haha O.o ..tho it took days to wash the smell and stain off my orientation shirt..

Friday - Variety Night (more like low-quality porn night haha)
My group got so lazy (yes..our OOs too =P) we decided to forget bout the Signature Hunt and Dress Code. But we got a reason for being lazy...our IMCC fell sick the day before. Guess who became his substitute O.o. Less than 12 hours to the performance, and i was told i had to stand in for him. God help me...

So..what's an IMCC anyway? Many of the freshies didn't know, but having friends and bro in IMU beforehand is handy. Each group has to send an IMCC for the 'beauty pageant' on Variety Night. One guy, dressed up and made up as beautiful as possible (you'll be surprised by how 'possible' it is to make a guy beautiful..). Each IMCC has to be a Disney character. My group was supposed to send a Sleeping Beauty O.o . (ok, i know, i suit this character a lot ^^")

1pm. Final touches to Sleeping Beauty's gown. 3pm. Last rehearsals for group and IMCC performances. 5.30pm. Dressing up Sleeping Beauty. 6pm. IMCCs gather in LT1 for final preparations. It's really funny...me sitting there, 4 girls touching up my face. Feel like i'm some celebrity that needs to look beautiful every moment or something. By 7pm i had so much make-up on (eye-shadows, eyeliners, mascara, lipsticks, lip-gloss, foundation, you name it, it's on my face), i barely recognize myself haha. Took lots of picture, and finally it's time to go up on stage..

I won't go into what IMCCs did on the stage, you use your own imagination =P. One thing for sure..once you watched all those IMCCs' performance, you're never gonna watch another Disney movie anymore haha. As for my performance, nah..i don't think i did a satisfactory job (i didn't have time to practise!) but the experience's gonna stay in my memory forever. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience..coz i'm never ever gonna dress up as a girl in my life ever again! (it's more like for others than for myself haha =P ..i don't want to cause a sore-eye epidemic)

Group performance-wise, we didn't do any better too ^^". But with the theme horror, it's really hard to make it interesting, funny and not-too-vulgar at the same time. But i gotta salute Group 1, who's theme was documentary. I never knew a human's life cycle can be THAT interesting and funny haha...

Saturday - last day of orientation..sob sob..
Due to extreme fatigue caused by Variety Night, our group (which by now has whittled down to half) unanimously decided to skip Telematch this morning. Quoting Rahel, our leader, 'Group 3 doesn't exist anymore after Friday' haha. But i did wanted to come, so does a few other group members (if only we asked each other to come..). Doesn't matter anyway..don't think i can wake up in time for it haha (last night ended at 1.30am..and congrats to Prasad aka Swan Princess for winning the pageant!). Heard it was almost the same as 'Treaure Hunt'..except we get to compete against each other this time (Treasure Hunt was more like a 'survival' game ;) )

At night, we had BBQ nite =). This time, Group 3 got revived. Most of the group came...maybe it's the food that draws them haha. We started BBQing at round 7pm, but each time a chicken wing or sausage was ready, it disappeared. I noticed the same thing happened to the other BBQ pits as well. Freaky... haha. Actually the seniors kept asking for food so what to do, we have to 'contribute' to their hungry stomachs lor. Ended at round 12.30am, by when most of the juniors are already MIA (guess everyone had advanced info on the cleaning up duties ^^"). Me, Hui Lin and Ben sneaked out right before they start cleaning up =P. But we wouldn't have escaped if not for our OO, Joanne, who gave us all-clear signals all the way out haha. Thank you Joanne!

The end..
And thus our orientation days ended. All the laughter, all the sweat, all the cheering, all the shouting till we had no voice. Nothing beats surviving orientation with you guys around. Rahel, Debbie, Hui Lin, Ben, Mustaq, Tze Ling, CK, Kher Dee, Vivian (Jia Yee), Najihah and Selv. You guys ROX! =).

And of course, without whom we all wouldn't have survived a minute during orientation. Our dear OOs, who guided us, advised us, cheered with us, got ragged with us, stayed by us the whole orientation. Joanne, Xinli, Chee Kun, Chee Keong and most of all, Johan Siow. Never in my dreams i could've wished for better OOs. I'd like to thank Johan, for everything he did for us, taking time off to look after us, and especially for staying by my side while i'm waiting to go on stage as Sleeping Beauty (i have stage fright, but having you there encouraging me just kept it at bay). When a senior asked us to shout "We love Johan!" on the rooftop for his signature, i'll say, we've never once doubt it ;). Thanks for being our OO! Hope you don't rag us so bad when we become OO next semester ya =P.

PS - yeah, we're going to pass down the tradition of bathing using the fire hose to our juniors haha =P

Shit, are you ready?
Ever ready!
ARE YOU READY??
EVER READY!!
Who are who are who are we?
We are we are we are SHIT!
Who are we?
WE are SHIT!
Who are we??
We are SHIT!!
OHH..SHIT!!

Group SHIT, it's nice getting thru all those shit with ya =P.

-4.21pm, 5 September 2005-

To Subang and back in 12 hours

August 18th. The day we all have been waiting for.. well, not really =P. It's the day we get our A2 result slips..though most of us already knew our results beforehand thru calls to Mr Ananda himself.

Me, Yong Chen and Yih Seong took an early flight to KLIA on the day itself. Frankly, i've never flown in an aircraft before, so you might say i'm pretty excited bout it haha. And that morning flight ain't dull at all. There's the non-stop turbulence all the way from Senai to KL, which reminded me of roller-coaster rides, only that you don't know when your ride's gonna drop ;). Then halfway thru the flight there's a loud crack and a flash of light just to the right of our plane. Apparently our plane got struck by lightning O.o . Swear i've never thought my first flight will be this interesting. And the guy sitting to my right doesn't seem to enjoy the flight much ^^.

Back in 121D..
Took off at 8.45am, reached KLIA in 45, and another 30 to Subang. Feels so nostalgic going back there again after 3 months away. Met up with Pat in 121D and chilled there for a while, talking bout nothing for an hour. 121D's still looks the same to me, except the 'family love' atmosphere ain't there anymore haha. According to Ashok and Leong, the other apartmentmates ain't chilling with them much. Kept to themselves in their room most of the time. I guess time is the best ice-breaker ;). Leong came back after a while, and got 3-4ed for asking what's 'Mel' and 'home'. Haha...

..off to college..
Saw Hoi in college, together with Paik Weng. But then the moment Hoi came to join us, Paik Weng walked away. Sigh...i dunno whether it's problem on our part or his. Since the beginning of college till now, he still doesn't fit in with us, though we were classmates for one and a half year. I remember the time when he 'tried' to talk to me while i was in the library..but i think i gave the impression that i wasn't interested in talking to him. Not that i ignore him or something, just that i don't know what to say to him. Guess that's the same scenario for all of us, we talk at different wavelengths. Hope he doesn't think we're some arrogant bastards or something...

Neway, we got out slips, then some of us had to stay for the award presentation shit. Waited a few hours just to get some 20 sen coin size gold plaque... pendant.. whatever you called that. Anyway, the point is, what's the use of that? A lecturer suggested we give it to our partners as gifts...right. Then Pat suggested we can use it as earrings...haha. Seriously, everyone wanted to pawn those gold pendants..at least we get some money to spend ;)

..and lunch at Uncle Seng's! (oh..i missed the food there ^^)
Lunch at Uncle Seng's (Pat's been craving for Uncle Seng's haha) with the same old PM1 gang + Tasha, Pavan's girl. Felt really good to be together with everyone again...coz this'll probably be the last time all of us can get together for lunch.

me awe-struck by my first flight..(ok, it's my second time but i get to look down this time!)
Chatted and joked till 5pm, then me, Yong Chen and Yih Seong had to catch a plane at 6.55pm while the rest went back home. Flight back isn't as interesting, but all three of us get window seats =). The moment we touched down in Senai Airport, my neck's already permanently twisted to the left hehe. The view down from an airplane is really awesome... especially when the plane go above the clouds. There's only clouds below, and i can see the horizon where the sky meets the ground. Feels like i'm in the outer space of something, looking down on Earth hehe. Then the sun sets, and the view below turned into total darkness, with the occasional colonies of light. Sigh...i wished the flight will never end.. Ok, i sound a bit jakun here, but hey, who's not fascinated by their first flight ;)

So thus the journey ends. More than 700km in 12 hours. Man, i've never travelled that much before hehe...

-1.23am, 22 August 2005-

Life as a goldfish

One of the goldfish just died this morning. There were two of them, one wholly orange, one with its bottom half silver. And less than 12 hours ago, the silver-bellied one lies at the bottom of the temporary fishbowl - just a plastic container actually. Nobody realised it died till my bro came back from school at 'round 2pm. Yeah i had been sleeping till late afternoon.. again. The strange thing is, i dreamed that same goldfish died last night. Coincidence. Strange. It didn't seem to want to eat the night before. Maybe that explains its death. Or my dream.

Yeah it's just a goldfish, its life not celebrated, its death not mourned. It did not even get buried, let alone get a funeral. Just a flush down the toilet. I don't want to think where it'll end up.

That's life for a goldfish. Living in a fishbowl its whole life. Doing nothing except eat and swim round and round the same confined space. Until finally death liberates it from this watery hell. It lives for the pleasure of us humans. I don't think that's even a good reason for living. Sick, that's what we are. Humans are sick. Tell me that deriving pleasure from watching goldfish trapped in a fishbowl is not sick.

There's even a 'Calvin and Hobbes' comic strip related to this. To quote it,

Calvin : Look, I caught a butterfly!
(showing Hobbes a butterfly trapped in a jar)
Hobbes : If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it.

How true. I guess that's human for you.

I think at this point you'd have realise i'm an animal lover. Not those who go around showing off their birds in cages, fish in ponds, or dogs on leashes. They should be ashamed they even dare to call themselves animal lovers. More like animal torturers to me. Isn't limiting someone's freedom a torture to that person? I rather see them live as they truly deserve to live their lives. Free. That's why i never liked zoos.

Sigh. I'd have studied veterinary if not that i think it'll be hard to find work later. Yeah, i'm selfish. Isn't that just being human?

-1.57am, 17 August 2005-

Life in a flash

Yih Seong got us out again today. We didn't really know what we are gonna do initially.. we just planned as we go haha. Pat gave a rare appearance in our outing today, after missing out on so many movies, lunches and stuff. If Ashok and Leong were there, it'll feel so much like a reunion of sorts. Even though we still see each other much more than i thought possible haha =P.

Lunch in the early afternoon, one DotA game to suppress Yih Seong's addiction, and one and a half DVD to last the whole evening. One year down the road, this 'day out' with all of us will not seem likely anymore. Sigh..

As i was driving back, i got caught in a damn bad jam. The cause? An accident. Yeah, they happen everyday, i know. But seeing a car split in half totally is really disturbing. Apparently it hit a tree, most probably skidded of the road as it was raining at that time. I didn't see the driver or passengers, probably on their way to the hospital as i drove past. Life can be so unpredictable. Who knows who'll die tomorrow. But then, i'll never want to know that i'm gonna die tomorrow ;)

Right past the accident, with my foot on the accelerator, my car on the right lane, my speed increasing past 80 km/h, an SUV 500m in front of me signaled to overtake a car. As i drove nearer, that SUV driver seemed to be in a dilemma or something, one moment he looks like he/she's gonna overtake, the next moment he/she's turning back into his lane. You know, like constipation lol. And so i slowed down to let him turn into my lane, as any courteous driver would =P. And all of a sudden he/she slammed on the brakes. In the middle of both lanes. I did the only thing i could think of. Slammed the brakes too. But i didn't slammed it all the way coz i fear my car will skid. And the car behind will bang right into me.

Thank god nothing happened. I managed to stop inches behind that SUV, which is still a third into my lane when i nearly rear-ended him. And the car behind me managed to swerve to the left lane and braked in time too. An accident avoided. Another day to live. Phew.. and did i say i was driving a Kancil? The last thing you'd want to be in in an accident ^^".

-2.35am, 17 August 2005-

And life goes on...

Out we go..
Sigh...so tired these past few days. Been going out so much i hardly had the luxury to wake up late anymore hehe. Not that i hate chilling out with my homies..in a month or so i'll have no one to go out with! It's kinda sad, you know. Everyone will be off studying and me still here rotting at home haha. Sigh...i'm still trying to figure out where to get a job to keep myself busy for the rest of the year. Anybody have any idea?

Anyway..i watched 'The Island' last Sunday, one of those rare movies i actually enjoyed. The way it put us in the clones' perspective, so naive and innocent, in an all-too-familiar future that's really possible. Really good movie, but maybe i enjoyed it so much because i've became so bored of this long holiday. Ah well...

And then Tuesday, Yong Chen got me out for badminton. Don't know why i even agreed..coz my wrist still hurts if i move it too much. But since they only got 3 players and it might be the last time we play badminton in a long while...see how good a friend i am? lol =P. Oh yeah we had some DotA games while waiting to play badminton...and i say those guys really have been practicing haha.

Thursday..we wanted to watch 'Seven Swords' at Leisure Mall but the next show was at 9pm when we got there. And so somehow, just somehow..i don't know what unseen forces possessed us to agree to watch 'Bewitched'. Maybe we were tempted by the offer to 3-4 Yih Seong if it turned out to be sucky haha. He's the one who wanted to watch it so much (at first) anyway lol..

Motorists beware! senaiboy on the loose!
Wow...i never thought my dad would let me drive a car myself, let alone suggest it! O.o Especially since i almost caused the deaths of a bus-load of people last Sunday ^^". I got my first unsupervised driving last Tuesday, though it's less than 30km to Yong Chen's place. And strange that this may sound, i'm actually more scared bout my own driving than anyone else haha. Somehow, when i got on the road, there's a totally different me behind the wheel. I just seem to get so..agressive. Maybe i'm being over-conscious of my own driving. It's surprising you guys don't get freaked out while in my car haha. Bet you don't dare to tumpang my car anymore, eh? haha..

And besides, i always had this fear of getting lost on the road...since i'm really really bad with directions hehe. Almost failed to find my way back after dropping everyone off...took me more than an hour to get home (and because of that, i missed my swimming lesson ^^"). It was like, 'hmm this place looks familiar' and 'where the heck am i' all the way, until i found myself in front of my house. Nothing short of a miracle, really ;).

A2 results out! Unofficial one that is...
Yeah, the day we dread arrived too soon anyway..maybe we should pray harder haha. It has been out since last Monday, and everyone's so eager to know what they get, even though it means calling Mr Ananda himself O.o . I only called Taylor's on Wednesday..NOT because i already know what i'll get, just.. i don't know.. i rather wait till 18th. In the end i gave in anyway, and well.. trying not to sound too proud, i'm really happy with what i get. 4As, just what i've always prayed for =). I won't 'publish' the other's results..you'll just have to ask them yourselves ;). Congrats to all those who got the results that they're happy with...whom i hope is everyone i know ^^.

Goldfish and Newcastle United
My bro's friend gave him 2 little goldfishes yesterday, which are less than 3 fingers' width long. Really cute. They reminded me of what Jermaine Jenas said bout life at Tyneside... "It's like living in a goldfish bowl". O.o I'd hate to see him leave..but looks like he isn't likely to stay for long anyway. Sigh. Newcastle's luck still at an all-time low, losing to Arsenal on their first match of the season just hours ago. I read that there's some controversy over the late penalty, but i'll rather keep my comments to myself (there's Arsenal fans somewhere out there reading my blog =P). Out of Europe, out of reliable strikers (if only Owen would agree to join..). But if the Magpies squad isn't something to be proud of (yet), its supporters' fierce loyalty is ;). Toon Army all the way!

-3.30am, 15 August 2005-

Blogs, luv them, hate them.

Don't know why, but i'm not feeling in the mood to blog lately. Perhaps i contracted the 'too-lazy-to-blog' epidemic that's been spreading thru my friends' blogs recently? I hope not hehe. But still sometimes i wonder..is all this blogging thingy just a fad? Something that comes and goes after everyone got bored of it? From the look of some of my friends' blogs, it sure looks like it. But i have no right to condemn them for not blogging now, do i? As much as i wish they'll continue to blog, it's up to them to type all those posts. And not everyone's as free or bored as me to keep blogging. Sad, yeah i know. Not them, me. Haha. Got nothing to do the whole day..and the only thing interesting happening nowadays is opening up a friend's blog and get shocked that there's a new entry (yeah, new entries come THAT slow). Lol..maybe i should get a job. Fast.

There are times i gave up checking my friends blogs, and turn to total strangers' blogs to amuse myself. And i couldn't help but notice something. As many 'alive' blogs there are out there..there are a few times more 'dead' blogs. Hmm..looks like the epidemic is more farspread than i initially thought. Sigh. But then...among all those typical 'my life' blogs, dusty blogs, 'cant-make-any-less-sense' blogs and weird blogs (as in..WAY too weird to be read), some rare gems do turn up. Like this blog. Bloody funny, extremely offensive (to those who don't know how to take things lightly hehe), and goddamned frank. Best of all, it's Malaysian - you just can relate to whatever he blogged. Do check it out, but i've to warn you first, don't take anything he said..err, typed..seriously. And prepare to have a good laugh over there.

-1.07am, 28 July 2005-

So bored at home..

Nothing much to blog about lately, just that me, Jem, Yong Chen and Irwin went to City Square to catch 'Fantastic Four' this morning. Well, i can't say it's a disappointment, coz i don't really have high hopes for it anyway. But still, it's not as good as all the critics claimed. Watchable? Yes. Fantastic? It's got to be a no from me.

Maybe i've got really jaded by the comic superhero/heroes premise those movie producers try to wring out as much money as possible from. Spiderman(s), X-Men, Daredevil, The Hulk, Batman, and now, Fantastic Four? Give me a break man. Maybe we don't have to wait that long until they start making those Superman movies again. oh wait, they already are making one. My god..

Back to the movie, first thing the story sucks in? Their names. Mr. Fantastic? The Human Torch? Invisible Girl? The Thing?? How much more creative can they get haha. But then, this comic started so damn long ago...maybe the artist just got a 'comic-superhero-names' block..whatever you call that. Can't blame the movie then. The second thing? I dunno...it just makes me feel empty inside. Like when you're watching all the 'Friends' episodes at one go. Or when you're playing DotA for the millionth time. The excitement just isn't there anymore. Sigh. Oh and btw, Julian Mcmahon (as Dr. Doom) just keep reminding me of Christian in Nip/Tuck. Lol..Dr. Doom sucks. The only thing good about this movie? It reminds me that i don't like Fantastic Four, movie or comic or whatever. Yes, i'm biased. So? Sue me =P

Oh and before i forget..here's dedicating a short section to one of my friends. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LI HWA! =). It's her birthday yesterday, so maybe i should say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! =P Funny how we can still remain friends though we haven't met each other yet haha. Well, best of luck in your STPM later this year ;). Give it your best, k?

-1.52am, 28 July 2005-
And before any of you say anything, we're just friends ;). No scandals. Haha..

You may not realised it, but sometimes you didn't even fall..

My first thought when i received the letter? Fuck. It was 14th June, exactly 6 weeks after i went to IMU. Yeah, for the interview. Can't say i have nightmares about it, but i didn't really give a good first impression either. Thinking back, going thru the interview once more in my head, it's not really surprising i got put on KIV..which is sort of a waiting list for IMU applicants, so they say. Ok i guess, i tried to be optimistic bout it. I'll just get the good news later.

The only thing is that it never came. Not the good news i've been expecting anyway. It was my bro who broke the news to me, bout a month since i received the letter from IMU. "You are given a conditional offer for the February 2006 intake. Admission into August 2005 intake will be considered based on availability."As i read my bro's SMS over and over again, the same thing just keep echoing in my head. WTF?! Before that, my hopes were high, and i've been rather happy to hear that Paul made it in just a few days ago. In fact, i had been hoping that all of us got into IMU. And then the news just smacked me in the face and brought me crashing down to earth. We all made it into IMU all right, but i'll be going in 6 months later. 6 MONTHS?! WTF am i gonna do for 6 MONTHS??. The first few hours had me in denial, wishing that my bro had heard wrongly, wishing that the admission people had gotten it wrong, wishing that this is just a nightmare i'll wake up from. Heck, if only it is.

Then it dawned on me. It's not that i'm disappointed that i won't be able to join my friends, or that i can't accept the fact that my holidays has just been extended for another 6 months. I'll still be able to see my old friends in IMU, and 6 months of holidays will make me fatter at the very least. It's my family's disappointment that i can't take... especially my parents and grandma. Perhaps that's what been driving me to do well in my studies all the time... i never want to see their disappointed faces, not if i can help it. And thank god they took the news better than i expected. They were cool bout it, and it helped me get back on my feet even before i reach the ground. Family's support, that's a great force that keeps me standing tall.

A week later, my last doubts disappeared, my denial finally over, the moment i read the first sentence of the letter from IMU i received today..
"Please find enclosed your Conditional Offer of Admission into the medical programme for the February 2006 intake."
It's confirmed then. Somehow, in a different way, receiving this letter from IMU brought me some relief. At least i got in. Phew. By the time i got this letter, i've had come to accept it. Getting into IMU in Feb next year doesn't seem as bad as it sounds initially. In fact, i've started looking forward to it now. As for the 6 months, i just saw that 7-11 in the town nearby is hiring...

If anything, this moment in my life had taught me something - sometimes, things aren't as bad as it seems. We just have to take a step back and look at the whole thing, then we'll realise most of the time we worry for nothing. This may not be a major setback in my life, but i got depressed over it for nothing, even if it's just for a few hours. Life's all about living, and feeling down all the time ain't a way of living. I keep reminding myself that.

-2.59am, 22 July 2005-