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Tuesday, 27 May 2008

a dream was but a dream

I had a dream.

I vaguely remember how it started, or how it ended, or even in between.

But i remember waking up this morning and feeling like i really wished that dream never ended.


In that dream, i boarded a plane.

To see my friends already seated in it.

I spotted Jeremy, with Paul and Mustaqim sitting somewhere near him, and i moved over to find a place nearby.

Found a place next to Yih Seong who sat a row in front of them, and i seated myself.

Then it changed to a place (we reached?) where there was a lot of people.

And i met my mum(?) and my primary school friends, notably Yohannes and Jaimi there as well.

I ended up going to sleep, with someone in my arms.

I remember hoping all this would last, as i lay there, drifting off into dreams within a dream.


Before waking up late for work.

Alas, a dream was but a dream.

Truth is, i'm boarding a plane with strangers to a strange land filled with strangers.

7 weeks.


Monday, 19 May 2008

Malaysian Artistes For Unity

free download

Malaysian Artistes For Unity - Here In My Home

The reason i can't ever find a home elsewhere (:

A multi-racial non-profit zero-budget music production headed by Pete Teo. Every effort is voluntary. This is what being Malaysian should be.

Lyrics as compiled by Weizhu.


Show/Hide Lyrics [+/-]

Hold on brother hold on
The road is long. We’re on stony ground
But I’m strong. You ain’t heavy
Oh there’s a misspoken truth that lies
Colors don’t bind, oh no
What do they know? They speak falsely

Here in my home
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
One love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?
(Fall in~ Fall in~)
Fall in with me
(hmm ... fall in~)
Fall in fall in fall in with me

Push back sister won’t you push back?
Love won’t wait, just keep pushing on
Yes I’m strong, you ain’t heavy

Oh don’t you worry about that...
What we have the shadows can’t deny
Don’t you know it’s now or never?

Here in my home
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
One love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one?

(dududu lululu ... alot of dululu until i micounted them)

(Bahasa Malaysia)
Bertubi asakan berkurun lamanya
Hati ke depan mencari yang sayang
[Years of fears and years of tribulation
The heart keeps searching for that endless devotion]

shou qian shou da jia yi qi zou, wo men dai biao guo ren kai kou wei lai jiu mei you diu zou
[Hand in hand we’ll march like blood brothers
I speak for my people, hope we’ll find peace forever]

இந்த பயணம் பயணம்.. என் வெற்றி தாகம்,
அந்த கனா காலம்.. நம் வெற்றி ராகம்,
நண்பா.. நண்பா..
inthe payanam payanamm yen vettri thaagam
anthee kaana kaalam naam vetri raagam... nanba nanba
[May the road ahead quench my thirst for success
May the road behind echo a song of the blessed]

Yes I feel it in my bones, so I will let it be known
No matter where I roam this is home sweet home


Here in my home
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
One love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?
(yeah~ Yeah~)

Here in my home
(Here in my home)
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
(I’ll tell you ...)
There’s just one hope here in my heart
(one hope! one hope yo!)
One love undivided
(aa~ one~)
That’s what it’s all about
(That’s what it’s all about~)
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?

Here in my home
(Here in my home~)
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
(one love one love one love)
One love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?
(clap clap clap woo~ i love you man)


This song and music video are available to download for free at their website. Spread the love (word) (:

Thursday, 15 May 2008

of finding back the joy of lode running

Some of you guys already know, besides having a full-time office job, i also have a part time data entry job at home for a website listing tech-related companies. For this data entry job, i'm given lists of companies for me to find their websites, and then fill in the companies' details.

The job might not be much (and boring to most), but i was just having it as a source of side income since i had quite some free time to spend. Little did i know, i would learn so much from it. So much about the real world out there.

Such as when i find out how a company started out small, and went on to 'phagocytose' (acquire) every other companies around them.

And how for every company that succeeded, many more went bust, were bought over, taken over, and could only imagine the despair brought upon all their employees.

How an idea from a creative mind, coupled with courage to take great risks, brought about the rise of many a company.

Sometimes i learned about a new technology i never knew, and how everything around us now depended on technology so much.

I learned that India is much more technologically advanced than i thought, and perhaps have the greatest minds in the world.


Sort of opened my eyes to the world out there, instead of just seeing what's around me. Made me finally realise how vast and complicated the world really is.

Even just listing down the technology companies, i came across vast differences in the people that worked behind them, from education level to working life experiences. One can see it just by looking at their websites alone.


And every once in a while, i came across something that stirred inside me.

I was supposed to be finding information about a games company, Acclaim. From its wiki page, somehow i ended up reading on Sierra On-Line.

And then i remembered a game released by Sierra, that me and my brothers used to play on the oldest of our computers, back when we were still in primary school even.

Lode Runner.

We played this one game for days, weeks on end. I remembered how we would go to Holiday Plaza, bringing a few floppy disks. Look through a catalogue of PC games, and decide which one to be copied into those few floppy disks. And then back home happily, with new games to spend our days in front of the computer.

This was one such game copied into our floppy disks, that changed our small worlds of video games and cartoons back then.

How we spend so much time over this game, trying to solve its puzzles. Playing cooperatively to beat its levels. Creating our own puzzles to play with.

The last level i ever remember playing was one created by my older brother, where the whole screen was filled with bombs. Haha.. we had so much fun playing it over and over and over again. Even though essentially, the whole screen is going to get blown up and we'll just die over and over again. We laughed when we tried to kill off each other. We laughed when we couldn't outrun the ticking bombs. We laughed when there's nothing left on the screen.

So much laughter.. over something which seems so insignificant now.


Growing up sucks, don't it.


ps - for those of you who wants to relive these childhood memories (if you played Lode Runner before), the original lead programmer had kindly put up this very game for download on his website. Bless his kind soul :P. Now excuse me while i have some lode running to do .. (:

Friday, 9 May 2008

a little prayer, a little hope

The first day i stepped into IMU, it was for the entrance interview into the university.

After registering myself, I sat down on the bench with a couple of other hopefuls. Soon i was called in next, and were faced by two of IMU's lecturers. Only remembered one of them, Ms Reiko Yap, a behavioural science lecturer.

Halfway through the usual questions, came this.

"Which field do you intend to specialise in in the future and why?"

To which i answered, almost by rote.

"After i graduate, i'd like to go further into opthalmology. This is because i had seen for myself what it's like to be blind, all the difficulties faced to not be able to see, the things in life they missed just because they are visually impaired. And because personally, i knew of a blind friend, and many times i wished i could help in some way. If i could just help restore others' eyesight and prevent blindness, that'd be the gift i'd willingly spend my whole life giving. Nobody should be robbed of their sight, much more by something preventable."

It remained my specialty of choice for the first year, until we were taught to use the ophthalmoscope. The best friend of an opthalmologist and something, i realised, i have trouble with. You see, an ophthalmoscope is a device that lets the doctor 'see' into a patient's eye. And you use one eye to look through the ophthalmoscope, into one of the patient's eye.

The problem is, i am a 'self-diagnosed' amblyopia sufferer. Otherwise known as 'lazy eye'. My right eye's sight is dimmer due to lack of use during my childhood, when i had congenital ptosis on my right eye. In essence, i can't use my right eye to look through any devices clearly.

And because of that, i gave up on the idea of being an opthalmologist.


An hour ago, a message from my big brother.

"Ah Poh got partially blind."


I cried.

What use is all this studying all the while, if i can't even use any of it to help my grandma?

I felt useless.

When she needs support the most, i am furthest away from her.


First thing i'd do after i settled my stuff here, i'll go back for her.


So i say a little prayer, and wished a little hope.


Please do not take her sight away, not before us 3 brothers achieved what she dreamed of us to achieve..

.. her whole lifetime of hard work ..

.. please give her this one privilege in life ..

.. i just want to see her looking at us ..

.. with pride in her eyes.

This, i pray.. please.