'tis the year of the rat

Happy Chinese New Year to all! -- On other notes, will be going back to KL tomorrow, and likely going to stay there for the next couple of months. Gotta look for work to save up a lil bit of money to buy stuff before leaving for UK. A lot of things worthy of note happened since the last post, like me making a 'conman' fumble for words, me being back home, me going around JB and being reminded of all the memories, me shopping for new year clothes (at last count.. one jacket and one t-shirt - my parents almost died of frustation for me to find some clothes at the mall haha).

But i'm too lazy to blog :P. Maybe some other day la.

--

For now, here's wishing you a prosperous new year ahead! And may everyone gets loads and loads of ang pow! :)

holiday updates (comics!)

4 weeks. It's been almost 4 weeks since the end of EoS.

--

Mustaqim left the apartment 12 hours ago. By tomorrow (today actually, seeing it's already Tuesday) hopefully my cousin-in-law will be free to pick up my furniture, then i'll have to contact the agent to hand back the apartment.

Hand back my our apartment. Haha funny.. though it was never ours, i still felt reluctant to give back the keys to the apartment. It was my home for so so long after all, it almost felt like my own apartment.

--

And after that, if all goes according to plan and i do not procrastinate again, i'll go to Times Square by train on Wednesday to start looking for job vacancies. Mus wanted to work too, but lazy bum doesn't want to go out and find :P. Haha ok la, i'll let you know if i found any, k?

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Recently 'acquired' a new interest. Probaby due to the intense boredom of rotting at home doing nothing. Loooong holidays really IS boring without anything planned. Maybe i should be like a particular Wei Ling who was going to, i quote her, *takes deep breath* 'do part time job (relief teaching) mainly at the ballet school, helping to tutor this kid from her church, go for a trip to china this april to help needy people, then try to apply for hospital attachment, and meeting up with people on a regular basis and spending time with people.' Haha, THAT, is a holiday well planned.

Mine? I plan to find a temporary job to keep me occupied for a few months. That's it haha.

But i digress.

So what is this new interest actually? It's comics! No, not those Japanese manga. I mean the Marvel comics :)

Had always seen the reviews on newspaper on these comics, but never had the chance to read them. And to think they date back to before i was even born. Haha but it's obvious why i never get to read this comics of course. Financial reasons :(

Which is why i had always been grateful for the miracle that is BitTorrent. And yes boys, it is illegal to upload/download any form of copyrighted media, comics included. If i had the money to spare i would have bought these instead of resorting to download them =/

List of comics i've been reading/planning to read [+/-] :
Marvel Zombies
What If..
Civil War
X-Men Fairy Tales
Spider-man Fairy Tales
Avengers Fairy Tales (yet to be released)
Grimm Fairy Tales
Grimm Fairy Tales: Return to Wonderland
Ultimate X-Men
Ultimate Fantastic Four
Ultimate Iron Man
Ultimate Spider-man
Ultimates
Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk (unfinished series)
World War Hulk

That said, 2008 onwards is going to be filled with comics-based movies!

List of upcoming comics-based movies [+/-] :
Iron-Man (2nd May 2008)
The Incredible Hulk (13th June 2008) - Hulk 2 (actually they're starting all over again)
Hellboy 2 : The Golden Army (11th July 2008)
The Dark Knight (18th July 2008)
Dragonball (15th August 2008)
Punisher 2 : War Zone (12th September 2008)
The Flash (2008?)
Constatine 2 (2008?)
XIII (2008?)
Thor (2009)
Magneto (2009)
X-Men Origins : Wolverine (2009)
Spider-Man 4 (2009)
Transformers 2 (2009)
Silver Surfer (2009)
Luke Cage (2009)
Sin City 2 (2009)
Wonder Woman (2009)
Captain America (2009)
Superman: Man of Steel (2009)
G.I. Joe (2009) - oh man oh man i watched this cartoon when i was small!
Nick Fury (2010)
The Surrogates (2010)

Just look at that. Guess comics is the 'in' thing right now haha.

disorganised thoughts

You asked me why i sighed.

I told you it's because i had to clean up the apartment.

I meant it's because i had to clean up the apartment where i lived in for the past 2.5 years.

--

I'm back in Vista Komanwel, Bukit Jalil now. Came up with my parents to send my brother off to Melbourne. He said this time he bought a one-way ticket. It just add to the morbid feeling that's been tugging at me ever since. He doesn't know when he'll come back again.

As we were about to leave Senai, my grandma stood outside waving goodbye to us. Then she waved goodbye to my brother.

And i saw it.

The sadness in her eyes. The smile on her face that hid her sorrow.

I wanted to cry.

--

Most of the stuff in my apartment had already been moved out, the only things left are furniture waiting to be picked up by my cousin-in-law. I had to throw out most of the stuff. Bits and pieces i accumulated over the past 2.5 years. Bits and pieces of my memories here. The nostalgic me tried to save all i could, but the rational me knew there's no point in holding on to the past.

Orientation booklets, an invitation from Denise to her church's Christmas celebration, the ticket to 8TV's Summer Live Concert i went with Chuihan, ang pows i collected from lion-dancing, name tag from Mount Kinabalu's climb, wushu-ninjutsu lanyards, Rahel's old blouse (don't ask!), just to name a few.

Each and every piece held a memory i had, memories i never want to lose. 5 years on, would i still remember what i did in IMU? 10 years on, would i still remember the faces of these guys and girls so dear to me?

I always found comfort in familiarity. That's why i'm not looking forward to what's coming. Or has already came.

--

Timothy left. Chui Han left. Chow left. Jeremy and Chia Huan leaving next on 9th Feb. One by one leaving Malaysia. It's like watching the water in the well drying up. Slowly, but there's nothing you can do to stop it.

I hate this feeling.

--

It's great to see one of my housemates one more time, the crazy one haha. Being in a half-empty apartment with everything packed up can be very depressing, if not for Mustaqim around doing silly things and making lame jokes. At least it did made me smile :).

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I have absolutely no idea what my next step will be after handing back the apartment to the agent. Would like to stay and find a job of course, but family definitely want me back for chinese new year. But after chinese new year i guess it'll be harder to find work to do. I'm just so undecided.

And then there's the issue of preparation to go to Dundee. IELTS, visas, accommodation, offer letter, it's enough to wreck this sloth's head. I'm so lazy to plan and settle everything. Sigh.

I would trade this freedom and independence if i could just have another chance to relive the past 2.5 years in IMU.

I miss everyone.

and i feel like Rapunzel

Ever wondered what it feels like to be Rapunzel?
To be locked-up in a room, only out to clear your bowel?

Strangely enough, i could have been living in her lair
Albeit without the golden stair made from her hair

But one day, when i have amassed enough lecture notes
I'm gonna tie them together and throw out my window a rope

And off to freedom, only to realise with a thunk
It's EOS in 9 days, and stop reading this junk

senaiboy (1986-present)

--

Yes i'm lame (hey, this is written in 5 minutes!). I blame it on the exam stress! Haha. Hope this brightened up your moody studying times, and at the same time 'motivate' you to study some more. Muahaha i'm eeebel i know :P

note to self: do not read older posts on this blog!

There should be a warning for myself not to read back on my archived posts.. i'm getting too nostalgic. Anyway the following will be thoughts of a nostalgic me. Most of the people who still read my blog won't understand haha.

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I miss Big Night Out. And overdosing on Pringles and Shandy and PS2.

I miss going out for movies. Followed by planting our asses in the cybercafe for longer than the movie we watched.

I miss playing basketball. Especially the ones when all of us still don't know how to play.

I miss our cybercafe sessions in college. Like the one we stayed until the dawn breaks, literally.

I miss 121D. What happens when you put 7+1 guys in a 3-room apartment? Not a single peaceful day passed by haha.

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I miss the days when i don't have to dread waking up each day to continue studying and thinking and worrying bout exams :(

ps - i realise .. my blogging style has changed from last time. When it used to be more of a diary of what happened, now it's more on my thoughts. Haha but if it stayed the same style as last time, it'll read like:

wake up. study. sleep. study. sleep. surf facebook. read blogs. download torrents. play games. chat on msn. surf and read blogs and surf and read blogs. oh-the-sun-is-rising-i-better-hit-the-beds. sleep. repeat.

Sigh.

do you remember me?

Have you ever lost contact with someone, and suddenly after years and years, you found him again?

--

Feels weird. Everyone looked so different. Heh but i still could remember them.. most of them at least. Doubt they'll recognise me anyway. I think i changed the most.

Yes i should be studying for EOS which is 3 weeks away. But damn i've been browsing this site for hours. Found a few of my secondary classmate. Heck i even found one of my primary classmates. That's like someone i knew since, what, 15 years ago?

I'm amazed. At the same time, it struck me hard. It had been that long.

It has already been 2.5 years in IMU. We're soon going to part ways. I really don't want the same thing to happen. The same feeling that i just had. The same thought.

That i hardly know any of them anymore.

That when i messaged them on Friendster, i wonder if they would think, 'do i know this guy?'.

I know, i know. We make friends, we lose friends. Friends become strangers. Memories fade. Names slip your mind. You get dementia from Alzheimer's. It's inevitable. We do lead very separate lives after all. The only thing we had in common was our paths crossed in the past. And highly unlikely they'll ever cross again.

Still.. i guess it will be nice to know that your ex-classmates still remember who you are. Even if it's just your name. And they spelled it wrongly. Haha.

Which was why i messaged them anyway, knowing half of them only know my surname, the other half probably not even remember who i am.

--

.. and it's nice to see that life has treated all of them pretty well :)

Slow Danceby David L Weatherford

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

--

One of the poems that really wakes me up. Read it before some time ago, but recently circulated back to me again on a forwarded email.

Stop, breathe, and smell the flowers.

Happy studying guys :)