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Sunday, 27 April 2008

movingtoofastwheresthebrake / patience

The Seremban gang just finished their first block of posting last week. Tomorrow morning, they'll begin their second posting, while i'll be dragging myself out of bed to go work, Ben and Prasad be poking some mice, HuilinMusYewwen pretending to be doctors, and CheeMei markets.

For the few days break they had, Paul and Winnie came to KL and we had a small gathering together (me, Huilin, Ben, Prasad, Yew Wen, Mus). Movie outing didn't go as planned, so we had a long chat over coffee caramel frappucino at Starbucks, Gardens instead. Haha sudah high class ni.

Caught up on the latest gossips news from Seremban and around. Since we left IMU, so many things had changed it's hard to even keep up with it. Sometimes i feel like i've been left in the past. Where everything's familiar and comforting, instead of the present where everything's changing and i realise i knew less and less of the people i thought i knew.


It's almost the end of April now. Will be applying for visa next week or the following. And meanwhile look for flight tickets with Hui Suan. Freaking visa costs more than 660 bucks alone. It's real expensive to study overseas. Sigh. Wonder if i should have stayed instead.

Accommodation proved to be a real headache for me too. I'm left with two choices now, and either one doesn't fit well with the other side. Being the middle person is not easy, eh. I realise it's not always possible to keep both sides happy.

As prasad's latest post, i too don't feel it either. I don't feel like i'm going to leave this country in a little more than 2 months. I don't feel like i'm not going to see these friends much for the next couple of years. I don't feel like soon, i'll be in a totally foreign place with accents i could not comprehend.

I'm just deluding myself into thinking everything would last. That's what we call denial.


Much of our talk yesterday focused on one issue. One of the mysteries of life, we'll say, and perhaps we'll never understand why.

Later that night, the question was brought up. "Is there a point when being patient becomes stupid?"

I guess that's why they say patience is a virtue. One can never get enough of a virtue, can they? But there is a difference between being patient and being naive. If you tolerate someone out of sincerity for a friendship, it's patience. If you tolerate someone out of the belief that he'll change, that's naivety. And naive.. is just a polite way of saying stupid. You get the drift.

Ignored, unappreciated, unacknowledged, we still do what we think is the right thing. And we're still trying in the hope that one day, he'll realise what we're doing and done for him.

Maybe everyone will say we're being stupid.

But i sincerely believe we're not. We're just being friends.

Even when he doesn't see it.



ps - sitting in Paul's car was.. fun. haha

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