seriously cereus

Oh I finally found the secret to losing weight now..

It's called 'Bacillus cereus'.

Just cook your rice and leave it outside in the kitchen for 2 days, then cook it for dinner afterwards. Perfect incubation habitat for multiplying, toxins-releasing bacillus.

No need for any laxatives or appetite suppressant pills.

Bacillus cereus works wonder for your guts. And appetite.

Who says losing weight was hard? :P

(okay I was a little dumb to have thought this freaking cold weather could refrigerate my rice out of the fridge)

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Anyway wanted to post a 'proper', 'obligatory' New Year post but somehow just couldn't find the time at the moment (in between sitting on the toilet bowl or sleeping in bed all weekend). Starting my second week in the Breast Ward tomorrow, which is very unexciting to say the least.

Another 2 case discussions, 2 mini-CEX, 1 observed practical procedure, 1 Cleanliness Champions module (oh save my soul), and a Ward Simulation Exercise this month. I had been all geared up for the new year, but right now I just can't be bothered.

I need some motivation.

NOT Bacillus cereus.

2010 - turning point in life?

At times, life seems to pass by at a frighteningly fast speed.

On our way back from London city to Luton airport by bus now. Within hours, the five of us - ben, Jackie, mus, cheemei, me - will find ourselves shivering together in the cold of Edinburgh again.

The past 2 days in London must have been the best time I've had in a very long time, felt like forever. Meeting our 3 friends from different parts of the world after so long, it's like nothing has changed. The joking around, the poking fun at each other. Have we really spent any time apart? (:

Last night we talked bout the future. How UK did not felt like home, probably never will. For me, this is as close to home I could feel. With my friends. They are the only place I ever felt I belong. The lot of us in UK were lucky, a big part of the 'family' came here. I was lucky.

However not many of us would still be here in a few years I guess. Even in Dundee only 3 of us chose to stay in Dundee for our foundation years. I admit I'm afraid of graduating, to be in charge of real patients with my seemingly limited knowledge. Yet, for me a future without these friends is even more scary. Now when I look to the future, when we all have graduated and started working, when those who wants to go back has gone back, I'm not sure what there will be to look forward to. These occassional 'family' outings are my only source of strength to maintain my sanity.

Cherish every moment I guess. Ah, we're all growing up, growing old too fast. 6 months to graduation, hopefully.

- posted by iPhone

Oh, Happy New Year 2010 everyone (:

hm?

My Christmas break started yesterday, and since then I've just been bumming at home. Finished up the half-watched 'Saving Private Ryan' on my laptop last night. And while I was in the hospital to hand in some reports earlier, I saw this stash of recruitment booklets on the floor.

It's a recruitment for medical officers for Territorial Army.

And then I had a sudden unexplained interest to join the Army.

Really?

The only way I could explain it was, maybe I have an instinct very deep inside of me to stay away from hospitals as far as possible.

Or maybe it's far more interesting to work in the Army.

But.. really?

I think I've lost my sanity somewhere over the past 4 years.

three chinese santas, running down the street

Sometimes, all you need is to run your heart out.

Run, run like the wind blows.

Honks of passing cars.

Smiles of random strangers.

Waves of little children.

Nothing works better for a little pick-me-up, eh?

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Am feeling much better now. Although am really really unfit at the moment. Haha age is creeping up on me, time to hit the gym perhaps?

Thanks so-p and Merv for being so sporting to join me on the Santa Run :D

(and waking me up because I overslept. again.)

Let's do it again next year! (we need to fatten up to look like a proper santa next year :P)

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Aight. Back to my 3 Case Discussions, 2 GP Case-based Discussions, and 1 GP audit.

Somebody save me.

hello from "very remote town"

Ah, internet.

How I missed you.

I've almost devolved into a piece of fossil with no information being constantly shoved down my throat for the past week. Wait, it's just a week? I'm sure from the time I left civilisation till today, several summers have passed.

Ah, time sure passes slooowly without internet.

Well, here I am doing my 'rural' GP block. In the small town of Blairgowrie. Just half an hour's drive away from Dundee.

Was a little disappointed, yes I admit. I was expecting some kinda exotic jungle or remote island or even a town with a pop of 1000 when I chose "very remote town" in my selection. But no, I got placed here. In a town of 8000+, with not only a Tesco AND a Somerfield, but a Cottage Hospital to boot. Conversely that's where I'm bunking in, right above the patients. Joy.

Weather here hasn't been kind too. Not a single day without rain and heavy clouds overhanging the town. It's been more than a week since I last saw sunshine come to think of it, waking up everyday thinking it's still dark outside, when in fact I'm already late.

I even brought along a tripod thinking maybe I can get some amateurish photography done. Oh well, 7 more weeks to go I'm sure there'll be sun sometime in between.

And then 'Ardblair Medical Practice' happened. Yeah, it's like a big event in my life haha :P

Less than a week here, and I've been made to feel like I've been here all along. The ladies at the reception, the practice manager, the IT lady, the nurses, the health visitors, the GPs. And damn, the GPs. Only sat in with half of them so far, but each and every one of them just cracks me up. The stories told behind closed doors, the banter exchanged over coffee break.

I'm sure this is the most fun I've had in medicine in a while.

Oh, and just yesterday there was cake and wine too.

Joy (:

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Onto a 'Food for thought'. From the GP tutor during the introduction briefings for our rural GP block:

.. once you study medicine, you will never be a lay person again..

How true, something I've been thinking about on and off over the years. At times I forget that I'm in a privileged position, knowing so much about medicine, about the inner workings of people's bodies, I forget what it felt like to be a lay person.

That sometimes when I talk to others, I subconsciously expect them to have a certain level of knowledge (of medicine), never thought that less than 50% of them know where their heart is.

Truth is, I am a very lucky person to have an education that I've had.

It's a privilege I'm reminded of every time I talk to patients these days.

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ps - i'm now connected to the rest of the world because I have my own login to the computers here now. I felt like I just came back from the dead.

Haha yeah right. I was actually enjoying my internet-less days by myself, being a rural boy at heart (just hate big, unfriendly cities). Gone through so many movies in just a weekend, I'm looking forward to getting back to Dundee just so I can download even more movies to watch :D

And I'm pretty amazed how 'free' I am now, not knowing how much time I waste online before this. Ah here I am wasting time online now. Signing off from "very remote town", ta!

perspective from the other side of the needle

Okay, I lied.

I know I said I'll revive this blog and pull it out from the depths of where-blogs-go-to-lie, but the reasons not to blog grew longer and longer on my mind-written list. It was the lack of inspiration and motivation, really, more than time to blog. As days go by, I grew more and more apathetic about blogging. Once upon a time I can be found typing in front of a computer narrating away on everything, but now, everytime I opened up Blogger's dashboard, I felt a tugging sensation in my mind, telling me, "Why should I even bother?"

For one thing, I have to remind myself, this might be the only footprints left from my past.

So here I am, willing to try again. Let's try this again, shall we?

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I was at the Blood Donor Centre today. Just a very impromptu decision I made, to do my bit for the 'Greater Good'. Oh I'm so noble haha. Not that it was something new, been donating blood rather irregularly over the past few years anyway. Remembered the first time I donated blood, way back in college, together with the PM1 gang. Not much else recalled though, ain't sure did I grit my teeth all throughout or did I thrashed about and screamed at the nurses with burning eyes who were ill-bent on drawing blood out of me. I'm pretty sure the second part was just a dream. I think.

Now that I'm in my final year studying medicine (and seen more than I ever thought I would in my life), it's a kinda strange feeling to know so much more about what was going on during the blood donating process, while donating blood.

I used to think the alcohol wipes they use to clean the skin before they stab me with the giant needle contained some kind of painkiller to numb my skin. I made that part up to reassure myself I guess, trying to psyche myself into believing that it'll be a painless process. Mind you, that needle is BIG okay. Like the size of the drinking straw you suck your milo ais out of the glass through. Alright maybe not that big, but it's still big, kay?

As I lie on the bed with my right arm extended and the nurse wiping ever so thoroughly with the alcohol swabs, I glanced at the soon-to-be-pricked site on my arm with a little hesitance. I know I have prominent veins and the nurses do this all the time, but that tiny delusion I used to held on tightly to convince myself "it's not painful, it's not painful, it's not- .. okay, it might sting a little" is all but dispelled by my 4 years of book-hugging.

"You doing fine there?" the nurse asked out of the blue. I came out of the thoughts in my head, as I noted she was looking up at my face. "Yup" I managed to reply as cheerfully as I could, just before she proceed to bring the needle closer .. and closer .. to my skin .. as my eyes widened.

--

It's one thing to prick others with a needle. It's another thing to let others prick you. I've lost count of how many unfortunate patients have been on the receiving end of the needle in my hand, yet that did not really harden me much to being pricked myself. There is still the hesitance as the nurse wipe at your skin, the fear as you glance at the needle, and the teeth-gritting as you hear the foreboding words, "Sharp coming".

The pain, of course, was insignificant. It wasn't the amount of pain anticipated that caused the gut shrinking as I see the needle, but more of the anticipation of pain itself. Each time during blood donation, I tried not to look away from the needle but ended up turning my head away anyway. Kinda like a reflex that I couldn't stop. Heh. Let's see if I manage to do that next time.

Just an interesting observation of my own self during the otherwise uneventful 30 minutes of getting blood out of me. Oh, besides the bloke next to me getting his needle accidentally tugged out and have his blood pouring all over the floor. Just kidding haha.

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PS - Please donate blood as often as you can. It doesn't hurt much (even so, it's more than worth it), doesn't take much time, and everyone (mostly) can do it. I've personally seen lives being saved by donated blood right in front of my eyes. It's the least and the most one can ever do for another, giving them a chance to live :)

searching for signs of life..

It's pretty sad that most of the blogs are dead..

Oh wait, so is this one.

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Be back up real soon. Stay tuned.