S.O.S

It's bad that Renal is a killer system, with all those physiology shit it has.

It's worse that we don't have the best lecturers to teach us those stuff.

It's worst that i slept through almost all the lectures.

Gah, save me!

a little touch on reality

Sat for Repro ICA 10 days ago. The exams itself wasn't really hard, just that i didn't expect the questions that came out. A few on risk factors, which i didn't memorise. A whole problem-based question on PCOS which we only did in PBL, which i didn't read thru either. Other than that it's ok i guess. No hope of an A tho. Hope i pass. Shucks.

Felt really weird after the exams. It's like, i don't see an end to it. I don't feel like i just jumped over another hurdle. There's no post-exam mood in me at all. I stayed home the whole weekend after the exams. Hacking away in an online game.

I was losing touch with reality. I was in denial. I can't take the exams after exams after exams. Next one just 4 weeks after the Repro exams. I really wanna just waste myself away in the game after the exams. Sigh.

Now, one week of Renal passed. Rather packed first week for me. We started training for IMU Cup too. Not that i can get a spot in the teams, but heh, it's fun to just play around.

The whole first week of Renal, i slept through almost all of the lectures. I was in no mood to learn anything, no mood to do anything at all. Guess i was sinking into depression.

So right now i'm keeping myself occupied. Maybe that way i won't be feeling depressed so much. But i do realise i'm withdrawing into myself. Detaching myself from everything. I don't want to sit for another exams.

I don't know how long i can withstand this exams after exams.

This is the way i've chosen, i can only persevere till the end. I should stop living in denial and start studying for the next exams. I will.

thoughts

It's almost 4.30am now.

Silence. Except for the whirring of the fans in my computer's CPU. The ticking of the clock on the wall. And creaking sounds in the next room. Keat How hasn't sleep yet? Hm.

A lecture note lies on my computer table while i'm typing this. Been a while since i last blogged anything i really wanted to blog about. Been a while since i even have the time to think.

Reproductive system ICA next Friday. 7, 8 weeks since Semester 4 started. I wonder where has all the time gone.

Things change. People change. Situations change. Life changes.

My younger brother has finally grown up.

My dad just started his hypertension medications.

Everyday, we kept things secret from each other. Don't ask, don't tell?

Detached.

Many thoughts on my mind. Yet no time, no time to put them down.

It's June now. A little more than half a year left to go. Feels so short, yet the destination is nowhere near.

Stress? I hvn't seen it since EoS3.

Seriously, stress would be a nice change to keep my mind occupied instead.