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Sunday, 24 June 2007

a little touch on reality

Sat for Repro ICA 10 days ago. The exams itself wasn't really hard, just that i didn't expect the questions that came out. A few on risk factors, which i didn't memorise. A whole problem-based question on PCOS which we only did in PBL, which i didn't read thru either. Other than that it's ok i guess. No hope of an A tho. Hope i pass. Shucks.

Felt really weird after the exams. It's like, i don't see an end to it. I don't feel like i just jumped over another hurdle. There's no post-exam mood in me at all. I stayed home the whole weekend after the exams. Hacking away in an online game.

I was losing touch with reality. I was in denial. I can't take the exams after exams after exams. Next one just 4 weeks after the Repro exams. I really wanna just waste myself away in the game after the exams. Sigh.

Now, one week of Renal passed. Rather packed first week for me. We started training for IMU Cup too. Not that i can get a spot in the teams, but heh, it's fun to just play around.

The whole first week of Renal, i slept through almost all of the lectures. I was in no mood to learn anything, no mood to do anything at all. Guess i was sinking into depression.

So right now i'm keeping myself occupied. Maybe that way i won't be feeling depressed so much. But i do realise i'm withdrawing into myself. Detaching myself from everything. I don't want to sit for another exams.

I don't know how long i can withstand this exams after exams.

This is the way i've chosen, i can only persevere till the end. I should stop living in denial and start studying for the next exams. I will.

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