ok i'm bored

Apparently i looked like Hidetoshi Nakata!

Err.. ok.. i don't see the similarities at all -.-"

Get back to studying ppl! EoS in less than 2 weeks! Gahhhh!!

ps - merry christmas to everyone!

From the Pau Snowman by Yih Seong & Chia Huan

a morbid post

Just got back from our rotations in KKB yesterday. We didn't do much, just clerked patients and learned physical examination. Yet.. i learned so much.

How behind every patient there's a long story to tell.

A lady with fever. She was diagnosed with dengue earlier but she has pretty much recovered fully by the time we clerk her. Halfway thru, i saw her kids peeping into the ward from outside. No doubt why she's so cheerful that day =)

A guy complaining of abdominal pains. He came into the outpatient department and we chatted with him because we did GI this sem. Apparently he's been bearing with the pain for 3 whole years, and it's because the pain has gotten worse recently that he came to see the doctor. He talked bout his work, his living with his parents, his family. He lost his work because of technological advancements and became a rubber tapper. He couldn't work with the pain these days so he's staying with his parents, who keeps nagging him. He has to take care of two children all by himself because his wife passed away 2 years ago from breast cancer. And i can clearly see the pain he's experiencing isn't the pain in the abdomen. The tears in his eyes isn't due to that persistent abdominal pain. It's how life has been treating him so unfairly.

A man who had been coughing for the last half year. Working in the printing industry. He had seen 3 doctors before being admitted. The first auscultated him and said it was just cough and gave him cough medicine and antibiotics. The second asked a few questions and prescribed him cough medicine again straight away, without doing any examination. It's only the third that heard something on auscultation and advised him to have an X-ray scan, which ultimately lead to the diagnosis of pulmonary tuberculosis. He was in the isolation ward, and he told us bout how prison-like he's feeling. And then the other patients in the isolation ward he met.

One was an old man with TB as well, who passed away during lunchtime. He was asking the old man to eat after seeing the old man keeping quiet and not touching his food. 20 minutes later, he's just gone. The second was another patient who came into the isolation ward and didn't even survive 12 hours. He didn't get a chance to talk to him.

And all the while he talked bout the 2 patients, he pointed to their beds. Reflexively, i turned to look at where he pointed and saw the empty beds. The beds had been neatly made, with the blanket covering them. And i wonder for how many patients, those beds had been their last lying place.

A young man, just a year older than us. Lying on the autopsy table. He killed himself by drinking some poison. His mom smelled something when he came home and asked whether he's ok. He dismissed his mom and went up to his room. One last cry for mom and he collapsed. He never made it to the hospital.

But most of all.. i learned how fragile life really is, and how so many of us never realised it until it's too late.

Recently i found out two friends of friends passed away. I don't really know them of course, but still.. i can't help but feel the tinge. I looked up their friendster profiles. Their faces i'd never see in real life. Their personality i'd never get to know. Their stories i'd never hear.

I read the stuff they wrote about themselves. The testimonials their friends wrote for them. The things they like, the dreams they had, the path they walked.

If only there's another way i can get to know them more.

I thought bout how many people die each day. How each death affects more than one person. I thought bout how if you looked at each stranger's face that passes you by everyday, you might not see one of them anymore the next morning.

And you will never get to hear their life stories first hand.

You know..

.. that you're in BIG trouble when you have a lil more than 4 weeks to study a whole year of lectures.

So GI paper was over last Friday. Checking back my answers during the 'feedback' (more like answer-giving session), i can't be more sure of it.

I seriously need some divine intervention to score an A in EOS3.

Or i could study much much HARDER. But hey, it's human nature to want the easy way out =P. Too bad the 'easiest' way out now is to study like mad. More like the ONLY way out. What fun life we have.

Guess i better buck up lots.

Anyway.. just had a series of birthday the past few weeks.. so here goes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to NG WEI LIANG, CHUI HAN, WINNIE, CHEE MEI, PAUL KONG and CHIA HUAN! It's been great fun having you guys as 'family' .. made the 1.5 years in uni so memorable =). Hope all of your wishes come true!

Lastly to everyone, study hard and good luck for EoS.. we WILL survive. =)

ps on a sadder note.. juz heard our friend Rubin Tan (from EC) passed away on Tuesday due to problems during kidney transplant. Not so sure bout the details tho. May not really know him, but still i hope he finds peace in wherever he is now. *sobs*.

to have not a care in the world

I can smile when inside of me, everything's in turmoil and nothing seems right.

Ah.. how i wish it's back to the good ol' days where one has nothing to worry bout. Where did all the days gone?

a boy can only dream

I was looking around online at handphones recently. Because the one i have now is more than 3 years old (it's obsolete already!) and is merajuk-ing with me for some time now. Stupid phone suka-suka go into perma-silent mode and sometimes even reject my SIM card for no good reason. BUT i'm still not abandoning it because 1) i need a handphone, 2) i don't have money to buy one to replace it, and 3) so i'm waiting for some GOOD-HEARTED person to 'donate' a SE W850i to me. Oh where hath all the GOOD-HEARTED people go.. =P

Haha ok in case you still haven't get it, i soooo wanna get my hands on a Sony Ericsson W850i (*cough*my birthday coming*cough* - ok, it's FIVE months away but still.. never too early to drop hints, right? =P). Yes i think i'm getting greedy after getting a Canon Powershot A620 for my birthday last year. Sigh...

Advanced Walkman® 2.0 music player
2MP camera with 4x digital zoom
262.144 color TFT, 240x320 pixel screen
comes with a 1GB mem card

Too bad it doesn't have autofocus.. but seems like that doesn't make the photos quality drop too much (W850i/K750i test). And i have a digi cam for pictures anyway hehe. It's currently priced at RM 1700+ for original set and RM1400+ for AP set tho =S. Ouch. Pray the price drops by the time my birthday comes..

Saw it at a shop in KL Sentral today on the way to pick something up from the post office. Almost drooled all over the glass counter =(. So near yet so far..

A boy can only dream..

ps - i should be freaking studying for my exams instead of fantasising bout a handphone. sigh...

if only..

So many things i didn't do, so many things i never had the time to do.

At the blink of an eye, probably a quarter of my time here is gone.

Sometimes i wish i had another chance to live this life. To do all the things i wish i did.

Still, no use looking back and 'if only'-ing. Still gotta make the best out of this life.

ps - we all grew up, didn't we?

a word of consolation

It sucks when you didn't get what you think you deserved.

It sucks even more when you realised maybe you deserved what you get.

A word of consolation isn't much, but it's more than i ever asked for. Thanks, you might not realise it but i did feel better when you said it =)

Of course, overdosing myself with chocolate for dinner helped too. But i digress.

Gotta study like hell for EoS now. Can't lag behind everyone anymore.