i'm not yet a doctor medical student

I seem to be missing a lot of time in my life. Here i sit, in front of my computer, wondering where the hell my life has gone the past few weeks. The past few months. Years.

It's already nearing the end of May. Halfway through our Semester 2. A couple more months and we can "proudly" introduce ourselves as second year medical students. At times i think i've learned so damn much since i came into IMU. Yet sometimes, i just felt i had most likely wasted my first year as a medical student not really trying to be a medical student.

Heard the story from our lecturer PKL bout a medical student on a flight who saved the life of a lady with pneumothorax with a pair of scissors. Then during PBL yesterday Prof Robinson was talking to us bout how if we're ever unfortunate enough to be in a disaster zone when it happened, we would have been expected by the other survivors to be the leader in organising things, if we so happen to be the most 'educated' person there, even if we're only medical students.

Wonder if i could have done that if i were that medical student. Heh. Then again, i'm still in my first year, what could i have possibly know now that can save someone's life? How T-cells and B-cells provide immunity? Which parasites is transmitted thru ingestion of eggs? What is the age range for adolescents? Man, i can't even remember all the lectures that were taught in the past few months, let alone use them to save someone's life.. (not that what we learned can save someone's life anyway >.<)

Last week we had our Nursing week.. where we're required to visit the Seremban Hospital to learn bout the roles of nurses. Nothing much bout the nurses or the hospital, it's the patients that taught me more. We got to know a patient with colon cancer, who used to be a drug addict until he was diagnosed with the cancer. We saw a motor vehicle accident victim who can't even move his limbs by himself, and the nurses there had to move his limbs for him even though he's moaning all the time. An 18-year-old boy getting a chest intubation done on him, while he's conscious. A woman with an amputated leg, with the flesh still visible and skin unattached. A boy with abdominal pains. A woman with a rod fixed through her ankle. A man with swollen legs.

Every patient with a story to tell. If only we had the time to listen to them.

It disturbed me to see them suffering. To see their pain thru their eyes. The doctors, the nurses.. all of them seem so.. professional. Like they've been doing all this work since the beginning of time. Nothing seems to perturb them. Or had they become so used to this, they become desensitised? Sigh.. i'll find out soon enough i guess..

Edit - read bout the earthquake in Yogyakarta.. and bout the 3rd-, 4th-year Malaysian medical students who stayed behind there to help out. They didn't have enough doctors there, so medical students were roped in to help treat the victims. Man.. wish i can be just like them.. to be able to help out when needed.. why do i always have these worries i can't be good enough.. =/

i don't want a life, let me be a nerd

Hm. Somehow over the past few weeks, i've managed to get involved in so much activities, days felt like hours, hours like seconds. It's like me watching my life on fast forward, a blur of everything, leaving me worn out, yet not knowing why. Sigh. I've never seen any of us this busy in the past few months, much less me even during IMU Cup last year. Over the past few weeks, we turned into a big group of pandas, big group of stressed out pandas, wishing we could juz let go of all our responsibilities and get back to our lecture notes we conveniently abandon ever since Summatives 1. Wishing that when we wake up in the morning, we don't need to do anything but study, like what we're supposed to do. For once, studying feels like the only thing i want to do right now.

Summatives 1 was on 24th April, and the weeks before that were spent studying seriously only at the last minute, like what i'd always done. And for the first time i came into IMU, i seriously felt i flunked it big time. Even though i did read through all the lecture notes, and even referred to books for more understanding. Found some conflicting notes between the books and the lectures, but in the end i understood the stuff i was supposed to understand more.

And that was why i thought i was gonna fail the exams. Too much time spent trying to read through the books on immunology and microbiology because the lecture notes weren't clear. Too little time spent memorising every word on the lecture notes, which would have guaranteed me a good result instead.

And that was why you could have seen a gloomy aura around me when Patrick said they're giving out the results after our lectures on Thursday. I did say i wanted to get the results asap, so it'll get me studying again. But still, that wasn't enough to dispel the dread of knowing i failed my exams.

Yet when i saw my result slip, i really couldn't believe my eyes. I even thought i took someone else's result slip. I knew i had half the paper wrong, they gave us the answers after the paper. But as i've heard so far, most of our batch got As, so it might be the lecturers were lenient. Yeah, that's the only explanation.

The week we had Summatives 1 was also the WAVES, Week of Awareness of Vision, Hearing and Speech, organised by Helen Keller's Society and presided by Chia Huan. Mustaqim designed the T-shirts, and a quick 'survey' was done to pick the color - light, bright green ^^". The T-shirts didn't sell like hot cakes like we hoped they would, but we still managed to clear the stocks in the end. Chia Huan was so worried we can't sell all of them, i swear i saw a few strands of her hair turned white =P. And then there were the pens.

err.. i didn't arrange those pens =P

The pens. More than 200 orders. 30 minutes per pen. A week of manual labor. Uncountable hours of lost sleep. But we did it. =D

So right after the WAVES, we got on to the next event on our agenda. 15th to 19th May, Chinese Singing Competition 2006, organised by Chinese Cultural Society, presided by Jackie. Me was the Treasurer of this event. Not really a tough job, i guess i had the easiest job of all.

Last Monday was the mic testing, yesterday was the audition and tomorrow's the finals. Invited Chan Kwok Fai, Astro Talent Quest 2005 winner to be one of the finals' judge. The audition yesterday went rather well, only slight problems with the PA system nearing the end. Ended around 11.30pm, then me, Jackie, Yew Wen, Mok, Kian Hwa and his gf went to Jackie's place to count the scores of the contestants till 2.30am >.< . Let's juz say those that got to the finals deserve their places. Will be a close fight for the winner surely.

On my activities list, right after this Chinese Singing Competition will be the Week of Awareness of Violence against Women, jointly organised by Wushu Club and Ninjutsu Club. But since we couldn't find a time to have that week, and half of IMU won't be here after this week till the next semester, we decided to postpone it. And you can imagine how relieved i felt when we made that decision =P.

So weeks after weeks i don't even have a single day when i have nothing planned, no responsibility to fulfil, no task to be done. I'm getting tired. I missed my lecture notes, which were still as new as the day i got them.

Come Summatives 2, which is like a little more than 2 weeks away, i'll realise why so many med students prefer to be a nerd than have a life. I know doing all these things make life more interesting than locking myself up in my room with my notes, but i also know that i've gotten myself involved in too much activities. So much that i'm exhausted physically and mentally. So much that i'm starting to miss studying.

And after tomorrow, i'm gonna lock myself up in my room with my notes. I don't want a life anymore. I just want to study. Let me be a nerd =P

ps - the movie i've waited for years =P. New trailer!

pps - ah forgot to post it here... to Keat How, happy half-year-of-being-housemates!! =P ok, seriously, happy 22nd birthday, housemate!

* yawn *

I'll get a proper post up tomorrow, but meanwhile, check THIS out..

TITANIC 2!! OMGWTFBBQ!! I almost thought this was juz a joke.. turned out to be real.. O.o Even Jack Dawson (by the same old Leonardo DiCaprio) is back.. literally.

Titanic Two the Surface
Jack's Back