S.O.S

It's bad that Renal is a killer system, with all those physiology shit it has.

It's worse that we don't have the best lecturers to teach us those stuff.

It's worst that i slept through almost all the lectures.

Gah, save me!

a little touch on reality

Sat for Repro ICA 10 days ago. The exams itself wasn't really hard, just that i didn't expect the questions that came out. A few on risk factors, which i didn't memorise. A whole problem-based question on PCOS which we only did in PBL, which i didn't read thru either. Other than that it's ok i guess. No hope of an A tho. Hope i pass. Shucks.

Felt really weird after the exams. It's like, i don't see an end to it. I don't feel like i just jumped over another hurdle. There's no post-exam mood in me at all. I stayed home the whole weekend after the exams. Hacking away in an online game.

I was losing touch with reality. I was in denial. I can't take the exams after exams after exams. Next one just 4 weeks after the Repro exams. I really wanna just waste myself away in the game after the exams. Sigh.

Now, one week of Renal passed. Rather packed first week for me. We started training for IMU Cup too. Not that i can get a spot in the teams, but heh, it's fun to just play around.

The whole first week of Renal, i slept through almost all of the lectures. I was in no mood to learn anything, no mood to do anything at all. Guess i was sinking into depression.

So right now i'm keeping myself occupied. Maybe that way i won't be feeling depressed so much. But i do realise i'm withdrawing into myself. Detaching myself from everything. I don't want to sit for another exams.

I don't know how long i can withstand this exams after exams.

This is the way i've chosen, i can only persevere till the end. I should stop living in denial and start studying for the next exams. I will.

thoughts

It's almost 4.30am now.

Silence. Except for the whirring of the fans in my computer's CPU. The ticking of the clock on the wall. And creaking sounds in the next room. Keat How hasn't sleep yet? Hm.

A lecture note lies on my computer table while i'm typing this. Been a while since i last blogged anything i really wanted to blog about. Been a while since i even have the time to think.

Reproductive system ICA next Friday. 7, 8 weeks since Semester 4 started. I wonder where has all the time gone.

Things change. People change. Situations change. Life changes.

My younger brother has finally grown up.

My dad just started his hypertension medications.

Everyday, we kept things secret from each other. Don't ask, don't tell?

Detached.

Many thoughts on my mind. Yet no time, no time to put them down.

It's June now. A little more than half a year left to go. Feels so short, yet the destination is nowhere near.

Stress? I hvn't seen it since EoS3.

Seriously, stress would be a nice change to keep my mind occupied instead.

the myths of sleepwalking

I'm bored and have been wiki-surfing. Pretty interesting stuff i found out bout sleepwalking.

1. Contrary to popular belief, most cases of sleepwalking do not consist of walking around (without the conscious knowledge of the subject).

2. Sleepwalkers engage in their activities with their eyes open so they can navigate their surroundings, not with their eyes closed and their arms outstretched as parodied in cartoons and films. The victims' eyes may have a glazed or empty appearance and if questioned, the subject will be slow to answer and will be unable to respond in an intelligible manner.

3. Activities such as eating, bathing, masturbating, dressing, or even driving cars, whistling, having sex and committing murder have also been recorded as taking place while the subjects are technically asleep.

4. Sleepwalking is a legal defense in court, even for murder.

5. Sleepwalkers are highly suggestible. Anything they hear or see may trigger another behavior. Often something said by a person or even on a television will cause the sleepwalker to engage in the activity mentioned.

6. They may also exhibit behaviors which would be very embarrassing such as urinating in inappropriate places, trying to eat invisible foods, cleaning invisible counters, or even trying to bathe or engage in sex.

7. Often the best way to deal with a sleepwalker safely is to direct them back to their bed before they injure themselves. However, the person will often keep getting up until they have accomplished the task that has caused them to sleepwalk in the first place.

Never seen or heard of anyone sleepwalking though. But to sleepwalk must be pretty scary.. waking up in places you never knew you were at >.<

On other news, Gary just migrated to Blogger! =D

"Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows."

I almost signed up for the 15km marathon yesterday that Ivy asked me to go. 15km. I couldn't even run 1km without appearing half-dead at my current fitness level. Haha. Damn.

Have always known myself as a sprinter, not a long distance runner. During my school years, i could finish the 100m dash in the top half but when it comes to just 400m, i would be crawling before i reach the finish line. Heh. Stamina is something i'm severely lacking when it comes to sports. Put me 5 minutes on the basketball court and i'll be having respiratory distress. Lol =P

Not the first time i told myself, "I should run at least once a week." But being the Captain Procrastinator as my alter ego, once a week becomes once a month, which becomes once a year. I'd be surprised if i even manage to drag myself out of bed to go jogging. Seriously, why do people get out of their bed so early in the morning to run? It's not like they're running away from the dead-but-not-so-dead having living-flesh fetish like in '28 Weeks Later' (not very fun), or running coz they're 5 minutes away from exams and they just woke up (running away from zombies is more fun, i tell you).

But i digress. Man, this phrase sounds so overused. The English language should have more synonyms to 'digress' for us to use. No, my vocab is awe-inspiring, don't you dare question it.

But i digress again. Anyway, so i came up with this all-or-nothing exercise regime to prepare for the next marathon with the Infinity Milers (somewhere in June), starting today. In fact, i just came back from my first training session. So amazed with myself. Haha. Just for recording purposes (for future comparison), here's my one hour regiment.

-05.0min. Warm-up (running down 10 floors. ok, i'm too lazy so this count as my warm-up)
00.0min. Begin run.
05.0min. Pant. Wheeze. Pant. Completed 2 rounds. Rest.
10.0min. Resume run.
15.0min. Pant. Wheeze. Pant. Completed 2 more rounds. Rest.
20.0min. Resume run.
25.0min. Wheeze. Dyspnoeic. Completed 2 more rounds. Rest.
35.0min. Begin cool-down run.
42.5min. Leg numbness. Excess lactic acid accumulation. Completed 2 more rounds. Rest.
52.5min. Resume cool-down run.
60.0min. Completed 2 more rounds. I survived! =D

One hour, 10 rounds. Not that bad la. Considering this is the first time i run in a year. Haha. Gonna run twice a week. Plan to increase at least one round each week. By end of next month i'll be able to complete a full marathon! (in my dreams, at the very least =P)

ps - guess which movie is the title quoted from? hehe

homebound

Home again. After more than 2 months i suppose. Feels far longer than that. People would have been surprised to know i didn't come home because i was homesick. More like because i wanna see my parents and grandma. Felt like wanting to see them again.

Much had happened since the last post. For one, i am officially an adult. Yay. But none of me felt 21. Yeah, i'm pretty much in denial haha. Age is just a state of mind =P. Kena 'orientated' in IMU's parking lot. Much thanks to those who went to all the trouble to torment me. Especially Jackie.. sob sob to think i trusted you haha. Really, thanks everyone =).

Sat for Endocrine exams. Frankly, this system was the slackest of all. Slack as in we are so slack. Haha. Can't blame us.. after our EoS 3 and 2 months break after that.. we need some time to get back into the studying mode. But then it really doesn't help much to have rotations right now just after Endocrine exams. Damn free. No need to study. Lots of break. Haha in other words, damn 'fei' as some of us put it.

Performed for IMU's Gala Dinner at Crowne Plaza Hotel. Forced to wear all black, plus an ugly vest and a bright red bow tie. Prof Ong even mistook Hong Lim for a waiter. Lol. Performance was bad, but the free dinner at Chilli's did more than make up for the embarrassment =P.

Went for IMU Ball at Legend Hotel. Spent much more money preparing for the ball than the ball itself >.<. Rented coat, bought new shirt, tie and pants. Borrowed a belt and shoes from my neighbour. Food was ok (no refill for anything except chinese tea! wth - i drank my champagne and some juice within the first 5 mins). Service was really bad (Jem's table next to us get all the food late haha). Performances was so-so. Games and events were painful. But company was the best and everyone looked lovely hehe =).

GP posting at Klinik Mediviron, Cheras for the past week. Observed two doctors, Dr Suan and Dr Ng. Both are very friendly to us, and taught us all they can. Seen plenty of different cases too, from total amputation of a finger to mild case of Bell's palsy. Only bad thing that happened was that i missed so many turnings everyday, we took the wrong way more times than the right way in total. Haha >.<"

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Home looked the same, minus me and my brothers. Must have been pretty quiet all these while.

Nothing has changed, yet things don't feel the same. Been almost 2 months since my younger bro went for NS. Older bro won't be back till year end. Little surprise our room would look rather neat, unused for so long.

The baby rabbits grew up. One month old now. Living independently of their mommy rabbit, who's in a cage with their daddy rabbit. At night, Mom would placed the box with baby rabbits in the living room and let them out. So cute to see them scurrying around, hopping here and there trying to explore everywhere.

Perhaps these baby rabbits liven up the atmosphere while us brothers are away. Mom seems pretty happy playing with them. Haha. Somehow i felt guilty for leaving home for so long. Shouldn't we be the ones to keep them company instead, not these rabbits?

I lay down on our double-decker bed last night. Realised that probably for the first time, i'm sleeping alone in the bedroom for so long. Quiet. No one for me to talk to. To banter with. To role-play our soft toys comprising of 3 huge ladybirds (1 handmade), 4 dinosaurs, 3 ducks plus lots more in boxes Mom kept on top of the wardrobe. Haha. Bought another snake for my younger bro and a rat for my older bro from Ikea few weeks ago (their chinese zodiac hehe).

Grandma gonna check for proteinuria on Monday. Seriously hoped it'll be negative. She's 75 now. Diabetes moderately controlled, FBS around 7.0+, BP 160+/70+.

I'm kinda afraid of the future actually. IMU rejected any pleas to change to Seremban CS, citing unavailable seats. Before long i would need to decide on my PMS. Thought i would choose Melbourne initially, but fees there had risen exponentially. Following brother's advice and considering our financial situation, most likely i'll end up further than that. Canada. We'll see. As my Dad puts it, "all we can do is just take one step at a time."

Canada sounds very very far away. Halfway round the globe. Which means i would probably come home even much lesser than my older brother now. Being so far away for so long, without the realisation that i can be home in 3-4 hours, i think i'm gonna be very homesick =(.

I should stop here. This post is getting too long haha. Till next post. Ta.

if you're reading this, read on =)

An article i found on one of the Friendster bulletins:

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We grew up watching Transformers, Thundercats, Woody Woodpecker, Smurf, Chipmunks, Mickey Mouse, Jem, Mask, Roadrunner, Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Baja Hitam, Ultraman.

Had to brush our teeths during recess at primary school? had to hold plastic cups, line up with your classmates side by side and start brushing our teeths at some open area... or maybe near some drain?? do you still remember that we had 'dentist' rooms where we had to have our teeths check? and after that asking each other the result. not to forget our 'program minum susu' in primary school.. Everybody is supposed to buy like cartons of milk that costed 30 cents.. and you would see everyone drinking it everyday...

When we get our vaccination, BCG and everybody is so afraid. the teachers who would want to punish us must use yellow rulers to hit us onour palms?? and the boys use it to show "power" when teacher is not around. that a bowl of mee soup or some soup only costed 50 cents at the school canteen... went to some sundry shop near the school or to the 'roti' man waiting outside our schools so that we can buy junk food like chickedees, mamee, ding dang with some toys in it, 'Ti Kam', ice-cream and we would play games like monopoly, uno, old maid, and all other card games like that...

another fun time would be during Pendidikan Jasmani. the boys would play football while the girls would play netball... and it would be like we were playing in the world cup... but of course. the best would be main guli, batu seremban, bottlecaps, ice-cream sticks, 'Pepsi Cola one-two-three', Cops and Robbers, main kejar- kejar duduk.. and for the not so active, those kind of 'book games' where we would use buku latihan to draw and ask our friends to play...

do you remember the ice-cream tubes which are actually ice and colouring that are sold for 10 to 20 cents.. the colourful ones.. where you usually bite off the top to glup it down...

waiting for school bus and some waiting for parents.the long wait and the rush in the morning.

what about days when we felt like doing naughty things such as folding papers so small to make 'lastik' and shoot each other... how about throwing chalks??

back then, micheal jackson was just turning white.. and still had albums coming out.. compared to CD's, we were listening to tapes that sold for RM9.90...

in computer class, we were still using black and white computer monitors.. played 'Atari'... maybe SEGA or NINTENDO...

well, are we all getting older or what?

1) if you understand what you have read and you are smiling...

2) we have friends from school that are already married...

3) we shake our heads everytime we see high school students fussing about their handphones in school..

4) we don't hang on phone with our friends for hours a day talking about nothing...

5) when we meet back with our friends from time to time, we feel excited and happy talking about old times, the funny 'adventures' or stories that we experienced as a kid..

6) last but not least, that when you read this, you would think of all the happy & sad memories that you have experienced when you were still a kid and would think of forwarding this to your old friends that you have known since forever... i'm sure they would have a huge smile on their face after reading this.....

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Made you wish you never grew up? =)

ps - got Endocrine summatives coming up in a week. Sigh..