the other world

Last weekend, I did something I've never done before. Something I guess I'd regret if I hadn't done it.

I went to watch a play, all by myself.

It was a couple of weeks ago, while I was walking across town to get my badly-needed haircut when I came across this advert poster showing a new play coming to the local repertory theatre. Intrigued, to say the least, and curious I was. 18 months I've been here in this small Scottish town and I have never really explored all it has to offer. The play would have been a perfect excuse for me to get out of my usual routine and indulge myself in something totally different.

Truth be told, I'm jaded with my life. Since young, I've been prodded towards the Science stream, having school results 'above average'. All my life I've only known a world of numbers and physic laws and chemical bonds. Now, having my path in life already set out in front of me, at times I wondered what it was like if everything had been different.

I'm intrigued, and curious. Of a whole different world I have never experienced. Will probably never know what it's like to be in.

The world of Arts.

That was why I decided to watch that play, actually. Even though it meant that I'll have to go by myself, since I can't think of anyone around who would share that same interest, that same curiosity and sense of intrigue.

That play was Equus. Yes, the same story involving horses and a certain Harry Potter star being nude. Honestly, that piece of gossip absolutely undermined the real quality of the play itself. It deserved far more than being known as 'the play Daniel Radcliffe acted nude in'. The story was highly disturbing. Thought-provoking. And absolutely captivating.

Not to spoil the story, it was about a psychiatrist called in to help a young boy who had a certain 'abnormal' passion with horses. From the start to finish, it was like I was watching the real story unfold itself in front of me. Two and a half hours, I sat there transfixed. I cried. I laughed. I jumped off my seat. The play was that good.

My compliments go to the everyone involved in the play. The direction, acting, lighting, sound effects, were all perfect. For a small-ish repertory theatre (compared to the likes of Edinburgh and Glasgow), it was very professionally done and directed. Forget the Hollywood special effects and explosions and corny lines. This is the real entertainment, as it was centuries and centuries ago.

I guess people indulge in different things in life. Chocolate, alcohol, food, sports cars. I have no interest in any of that. I indulge in the world of arts. The world that has always intrigued me. Kept me curious.

Or perhaps I was just jaded and wanted to escape this life into another world.

three chinese santas, running down the street

Sometimes, all you need is to run your heart out.

Run, run like the wind blows.

Honks of passing cars.

Smiles of random strangers.

Waves of little children.

Nothing works better for a little pick-me-up, eh?

--

Am feeling much better now. Although am really really unfit at the moment. Haha age is creeping up on me, time to hit the gym perhaps?

Thanks so-p and Merv for being so sporting to join me on the Santa Run :D

(and waking me up because I overslept. again.)

Let's do it again next year! (we need to fatten up to look like a proper santa next year :P)

--

Aight. Back to my 3 Case Discussions, 2 GP Case-based Discussions, and 1 GP audit.

Somebody save me.

if you fry bacon long enough, it tastes like 'bak kwa'aka I've been spending too much time at home

Holidays officially started 10 days ago, and I've officially been bumming for 10 days. Wait, it was actually much longer than that. My last block in General Medicine (Oncology, Infectious Disease, Neurosurgery, Neurology) was a mess. Agh.. time to buck up, come on.

To say that since the holiday started I've been staying in my room will have been an understatement. I've practically rooted in my room. I eat, sleep in my room (okay, duh where else.. haha). Heck, even the air I'm breathing right now is recycled from myself.

Sleeping 10 hours a day. Waking up at 3pm. Chomping on junk food. Stoning in front of the laptop. Stoning in bed. Stoning in the toilet.

That's just how the holidays should be :P

Plans to do catch-up studies had practically gone down the drain. So did my plans to fill in the dreaded "Record of Clinical Experience" book. And my plans of reading for the next block.

Heh. But it's the holidays. So i'm excused. Ahem.

Anyway felt a little bit wasted to just stay home for the holidays so I made a last minute plan to go Glasgow for some walk-walk-see-see over Christmas before heading to Edinburgh (where we'll then drive up to Aviemore for skiing!). Good thing Yew Wen's able to accommodate my spontaneous trip there haha. That's what friends are for, isn't it? (to provide free accommodation :P)

Just 4 hours before I'm off now. Don't suppose I'll update this blog again till 2009 so here's wishing Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you!

To the lengzhai moose freezing in Canada, don't stay home and breathe recycled air like I did haha.

And to those of you who already went back home to Malaysia over Christmas, I hate you.

Unless you send me food. *hint hint*

the days are getting shorter

It's June now. I've just spent the last day of my work last Saturday, the end of last month. Technically, i am free from any bond or contract. In other words, now i'm part of the unemployed community. Yay!

True that i've been looking forward for this day to come. Ever since work becomes boring, and the one hour travel to and another fro becomes increasingly a waste of time. There wasn't much that was entrusted to me at work, partly 'cause i'm only working there temporarily. Ended up staring at the monitor screen in front of me, wondering what else i could do, day in day out.

Thankfully i was able to access the internet at work, which is ironically, where i spent half of my time at work. Occasionally finding some poor victims on MSN to disturb - mostly Huilin, Jem and Yew Wen (haha).

I had thought i would miss the work, or my (ex)colleagues, or the lonely travel even. Funnily enough, sitting here in front of my laptop having all the time in the world to myself (for the next month, at least), i seriously don't. I'd much prefer to be bumming than working, anytime. Haha i can be such a lazy sod if i wanted to.

There's one thing i miss though. The very core of my survival of those 3-months of intense sleep-inducing boredom. That which sits where i can always find it in times of need.

The Magical Tin of Milo of the Pantry!

It has been the one i look forward to seeing everyday. The moment it's emptied of its content of Milo, it'll always magically(!) fill itself up overnight. Man, i need to get my hands on one of those. Haha. I think i'm suffering from Milo withdrawal syndrome now =/

--

On a more serious note, reaching the end of my working period does hit me hard. It's like one of those to-do-before-i-leave stuff, and most of the list is already crossed out now that it scares me. That before long, i'll be ready to head to those unfamiliar lands.

Ready. I don't think i'll ever be ready to leave. There is too much at stake, and i'm very, very happy status quo. Why can't life remain its familiar self to me. Sigh.

As i woke up today, my mind was replaying the scene when my older brother crossed the checkpoint and left on his plane to Melbourne. I remember me, my younger brother, parents, and our relatives sending him off. As we lost sight of him past the checkpoint, we went to the viewing gallery and watch as his tram took him to the departure area.

Next year, my brother would have graduated. Then it will be my turn to be on the plane. In my mind i saw myself, carrying a big backpack, luggage in stow, walking towards the departure gate. I felt sad.

a look on life (ii)
16 July 2007

It seems almost surreal my turn is coming. I'm already feeling sad.

of finding back the joy of lode running

Some of you guys already know, besides having a full-time office job, i also have a part time data entry job at home for a website listing tech-related companies. For this data entry job, i'm given lists of companies for me to find their websites, and then fill in the companies' details.

The job might not be much (and boring to most), but i was just having it as a source of side income since i had quite some free time to spend. Little did i know, i would learn so much from it. So much about the real world out there.

Such as when i find out how a company started out small, and went on to 'phagocytose' (acquire) every other companies around them.

And how for every company that succeeded, many more went bust, were bought over, taken over, and could only imagine the despair brought upon all their employees.

How an idea from a creative mind, coupled with courage to take great risks, brought about the rise of many a company.

Sometimes i learned about a new technology i never knew, and how everything around us now depended on technology so much.

I learned that India is much more technologically advanced than i thought, and perhaps have the greatest minds in the world.

--

Sort of opened my eyes to the world out there, instead of just seeing what's around me. Made me finally realise how vast and complicated the world really is.

Even just listing down the technology companies, i came across vast differences in the people that worked behind them, from education level to working life experiences. One can see it just by looking at their websites alone.

--

And every once in a while, i came across something that stirred inside me.

I was supposed to be finding information about a games company, Acclaim. From its wiki page, somehow i ended up reading on Sierra On-Line.

And then i remembered a game released by Sierra, that me and my brothers used to play on the oldest of our computers, back when we were still in primary school even.

Lode Runner.

We played this one game for days, weeks on end. I remembered how we would go to Holiday Plaza, bringing a few floppy disks. Look through a catalogue of PC games, and decide which one to be copied into those few floppy disks. And then back home happily, with new games to spend our days in front of the computer.

This was one such game copied into our floppy disks, that changed our small worlds of video games and cartoons back then.

How we spend so much time over this game, trying to solve its puzzles. Playing cooperatively to beat its levels. Creating our own puzzles to play with.

The last level i ever remember playing was one created by my older brother, where the whole screen was filled with bombs. Haha.. we had so much fun playing it over and over and over again. Even though essentially, the whole screen is going to get blown up and we'll just die over and over again. We laughed when we tried to kill off each other. We laughed when we couldn't outrun the ticking bombs. We laughed when there's nothing left on the screen.

So much laughter.. over something which seems so insignificant now.

Sigh.

Growing up sucks, don't it.

--

ps - for those of you who wants to relive these childhood memories (if you played Lode Runner before), the original lead programmer had kindly put up this very game for download on his website. Bless his kind soul :P. Now excuse me while i have some lode running to do .. (:

a man who does not belong

There was this homeless man near Klinik Kesihatan DBKL on the street along where i walk to my office everyday. And every time on my way to work and back, i would see him on the dirty pavement, sometimes lying down, at times sitting up.

His clothes were a very darkish brown-black, most probably due to months or years of sleeping on the streets. He had this fuzzy greying hair, sort of the one you see on Einstein. Must have looked years since he had a nice hot bath, or even just a minute of shower. His slippers were one of those white coloured with blue strap you see in pasar malam, obviously worn and close to retirement. Though most of the times i saw him, he weren't wearing them. Uncomfortable, or just trying to make them last longer, i could not have guessed.

Along with the shirt on his back, he also brings along a plastic bag, the contents of which my curiosity hadn't spurred me to peep at (homeless as he may be, he deserves respect and privacy, not a curiosity on the street for strangers to scrutinise). He had a little notebook too, and he can be seen writing on it sometimes with a black marker pen. Once i had a glance while he was writing, and it seems like a few simple chinese characters i learned in kindergarten. 人 人 人 人 ...

Sometimes, i would see him holding onto his left arm. Sometimes he would hit his left arm slightly, slapping it like it wasn't listening to him. There was a suppurated wound on his left elbow, but he didn't seem to be in much pain from it. I thought he had some neurological problem affecting his left arm, but i hadn't notice any twitch or tic so far.

And everyday, people walked past him, oblivious to him, as he is to them. Maybe one or two kind hearts looked at him with sympathy, but most i would dare say look on with just pity in their eyes. Among the passers-by with their busy lives and hectic schedules, the man just sits there, seemingly in his own time and space. This world he lives in, has totally forgotten about him, lost in the currents of time.

What could have driven this man to this sorry state? Behind that dirty, unkempt appearance, there was a story that possibly, no one ever knew, or even remembered.

--

This day last week, it was raining very heavily. True that it'd been raining everyday since a fortnight before, but this time, the sky's tears did not stop falling even for a minute. I had to stay in the office a little longer to wait for an interval where i could rush to the train station with an umbrella as my shield.

Seeing the rain would not relent, i couldn't give a heck and just walked all the way as quickly as i could. Ended up with my shoes wet, and the bottom half of my jeans drenched.

As i walked past the junction where the homeless man stayed, he was nowhere to be seen.

Unsurprisingly, he must have found shelter somewhere nearby.

But the following days, he was not there around his usual place anymore.

Would anyone had noticed his disappearance? Would anyone had cared?

He was but just a forgotten man, lost in time and space.

mid-holiday depression syndrome

There was an ulat in my lunch.

--

Seriously that's about as exciting as work can get haha. Okay, it's not actually THAT bad since my colleagues are really fun people to work with.. if i could stand hearing 'First Love' playing everyday from the secretary-cum-office-DJ's music blaring.

There's a new girl in the office as well, working for HR department.. which consists of her and her alone. Which means before this there was never a HR department. Aha guess it's really a small company..

.. and i got my first paycheck yesterday! Wee! After travelling an hour to and another from the office everyday and working 8.5 hours a day for the past 2 weeks.. i got a whopping RM616.41! Which, after i deduct the money spent on transport and food during the same time.. leaves me a profit of RM50. siiiiggghhh ..

--

On to other news.. we finally have a car in IMU! Thanks Chee Mei's daddy! Haha. Now we don't have to wait for taxi or walk all the way to Sri Petaling for mamak supper anymore.. =)

I kinda miss the old days sometimes, just for the company we had.. though now isn't so bad either. At least i don't have exams to study for, lectures to sleep in, CSU to be scolded for, PBL to be wiki-ed, and the like. And with Ben, Chee Mei and Mustaqim around, it does feel kinda home-y.. huddling together like a small bit of the family left stranded here haha

..

But for the past couple of days i've been feeling out of place, felt like just dive head first into work and not care bout anything. Like i've become a workaholic and i can't do anything else besides work anymore. Maybe it's the realisation that i'm not earning as much as i thought i was.. or maybe i can't wait to work because i don't want that feeling to tug at me. The feeling like i'm missing a part of me..

Doesn't help finding out second phase starts on July 21st (from Wai Kien's sister). Shucks. I know we're gonna leave in mid-July, but something bout finding out when exactly my freedom ends just made me all gloomy inside (just like the hazy KL right now) :(

ps - tomorrow's election day, which means holiday to us ignorant citizens who 'forgot' to register for it haha :P

pps - see the ad above? They're even selling land there O.o

work, work.

An old draft sitting in my blogger for some time now. Backdated post.

I give up. Trying to blog has become so hard these days that every single draft i created in the past week never made past the first sentence. Sigh.

--

So actually i had gotten a temporary job, an office job, somewhere in Cheras. Initially me and Mus were working together at the company.. i sort of registered and got the same work for him as well. Haven't really got to know any of the co-workers till now, but at least i could remember most of their names already. No it didn't help that there were like 10 people altogether in the whole department :P

I don't really know what 'titles' or 'positions' we were given actually (i guess we were called temp boys.. which sounds.. er). I don't even know what the other colleague's jobs are. Dad said for all i know, they could be dealing with 'dirty' money. -.- Haha but basically we were working in the Accounts department, sorting, filing, writing, typing, filling, checking, photostating, printing, checking, double-checking, asking, eavesdropping, chatting on msn, laughing at people's names, disturbing each other, sleeping, looking bored, acting busy.. you get the drift.

It's going into the second week of work for me now, though Mus had suddenly been fired unemployed relieved of his job as of today due to unknown reasons (i tell you.. it's face problem haha :P). Incidentally, he was thinking of quitting anyway =/. Work is gonna get more boring from now on .. yawns. Mus was the only source of entertainment after all.

Did notice the environment was very relaxed tho.. and most of them seem pretty happy and cheerful, particularly Flora and Julia. Aha all of them were friendly and helpful too.. i must have disturbed each one of them with dozens of questions everyday. That's for being such a noob in the office. Gotta be grateful to have such tolerant colleagues =)

--

In a couple of days we're going to have another reunion mamak session. Paul and Yih Seong's coming over.. wee

oh and a happy belated birthday to the bonze, Yih Seong who turned 22 yesterday. i know you missed me. haha

senaiboy is a temp boy!

On Valentine's Day, no less.

- to be blogged haha this be the busiest day in a looong time -

job hunting

4 hours of walking around Bukit Bintang. Seriously i've never been to so many malls in a day before aha. By the end of it all i could think of was a warm bed in a cold room under the air conditioner. I could have slept there in one of the malls if there was a bed within reach.

--

So. Finally set about looking for work. Have absolutely no idea where or how to start, so i ajak-ed along another clueless guy.. Mustaqim! ..which didn't help much haha. But at least there's two lost boys in Bukit Bintang now..

Took the LRT to Times Square around 10.30am, had our brunch at McD's, then walked around the mall. And walked around the mall. And walked around the mall.

Then out of Times, crossed the road to Lowyat (Mus wanna check out some shop), walked directionless in search of Pavillion (i don't know where we were 90% of the time), then checked out Bintang Walk, BB Plaza, Imbi Plaza, KL Plaza, Lot 10, Sungei Wang. Swear i didn't know so many malls could be crammed into such a small area. Whoa.

Still.. after all that walking and all that looking and all that asking, we end up with nothing. From Starbucks to Giordano to Dome and we still couldn't get one :(. Heh easier to say looking for jobs than really look for jobs..

--

Tomorrow gotta go for the Starbucks' interview at Times Square (again!). Hopefully something worthwhile will come out of it :)

Edit (12.2.2008) - no go. they wanted someone who can work for at least a year. sigh :(

ps - guess what, i found out something interesting yesterday.. which made me feel really noob at the same time. my laptop had a CD/DVD burner built in all along! -.-

pps - Jem's in Tasmania and Chia Huan's in Melbourne already :(. and i didn't get to send off both. sowee. hope you two are having fun over there.. all the best!

holiday updates (comics!)

4 weeks. It's been almost 4 weeks since the end of EoS.

--

Mustaqim left the apartment 12 hours ago. By tomorrow (today actually, seeing it's already Tuesday) hopefully my cousin-in-law will be free to pick up my furniture, then i'll have to contact the agent to hand back the apartment.

Hand back my our apartment. Haha funny.. though it was never ours, i still felt reluctant to give back the keys to the apartment. It was my home for so so long after all, it almost felt like my own apartment.

--

And after that, if all goes according to plan and i do not procrastinate again, i'll go to Times Square by train on Wednesday to start looking for job vacancies. Mus wanted to work too, but lazy bum doesn't want to go out and find :P. Haha ok la, i'll let you know if i found any, k?

--

Recently 'acquired' a new interest. Probaby due to the intense boredom of rotting at home doing nothing. Loooong holidays really IS boring without anything planned. Maybe i should be like a particular Wei Ling who was going to, i quote her, *takes deep breath* 'do part time job (relief teaching) mainly at the ballet school, helping to tutor this kid from her church, go for a trip to china this april to help needy people, then try to apply for hospital attachment, and meeting up with people on a regular basis and spending time with people.' Haha, THAT, is a holiday well planned.

Mine? I plan to find a temporary job to keep me occupied for a few months. That's it haha.

But i digress.

So what is this new interest actually? It's comics! No, not those Japanese manga. I mean the Marvel comics :)

Had always seen the reviews on newspaper on these comics, but never had the chance to read them. And to think they date back to before i was even born. Haha but it's obvious why i never get to read this comics of course. Financial reasons :(

Which is why i had always been grateful for the miracle that is BitTorrent. And yes boys, it is illegal to upload/download any form of copyrighted media, comics included. If i had the money to spare i would have bought these instead of resorting to download them =/

List of comics i've been reading/planning to read [+/-] :
Marvel Zombies
What If..
Civil War
X-Men Fairy Tales
Spider-man Fairy Tales
Avengers Fairy Tales (yet to be released)
Grimm Fairy Tales
Grimm Fairy Tales: Return to Wonderland
Ultimate X-Men
Ultimate Fantastic Four
Ultimate Iron Man
Ultimate Spider-man
Ultimates
Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk (unfinished series)
World War Hulk

That said, 2008 onwards is going to be filled with comics-based movies!

List of upcoming comics-based movies [+/-] :
Iron-Man (2nd May 2008)
The Incredible Hulk (13th June 2008) - Hulk 2 (actually they're starting all over again)
Hellboy 2 : The Golden Army (11th July 2008)
The Dark Knight (18th July 2008)
Dragonball (15th August 2008)
Punisher 2 : War Zone (12th September 2008)
The Flash (2008?)
Constatine 2 (2008?)
XIII (2008?)
Thor (2009)
Magneto (2009)
X-Men Origins : Wolverine (2009)
Spider-Man 4 (2009)
Transformers 2 (2009)
Silver Surfer (2009)
Luke Cage (2009)
Sin City 2 (2009)
Wonder Woman (2009)
Captain America (2009)
Superman: Man of Steel (2009)
G.I. Joe (2009) - oh man oh man i watched this cartoon when i was small!
Nick Fury (2010)
The Surrogates (2010)

Just look at that. Guess comics is the 'in' thing right now haha.