have Meriab, will study

!WARNING! : In the following post, the author might sound proud or arrogant, even. Heck, he may even have hurt a few poor souls' feelings out there while typing this. Please note that in no way whatsoever, however the following post might be interpreted, or misinterpreted, that the author's words are strictly his own, and by no means did he meant to belittle or insult anyone. If you feel like bashing him up, or flooding him with hate mails, there's a little x button on the top right corner that'll shut him up and everyone lives happily ever after. If that doesn't work, smash your head/hand/elbow/knee/foot/chest/(*insert body part here*) into the monitor screen. That might work for most people (not for the 'happily ever after' part tho).

Summatives 1 is over. Finally. I swear some of my batchmates' going to go mad if they study for one more hour..some, anyway =P. There are those who study day and night before this little test, not seeing daylight for weeks. Then there are those who sleep day and night, not seeing daylight for weeks too haha. Guess i don't have to say which group i belong in, right? =P

I do wonder sometimes..is it just me or is everyone's pushing themselves a little too hard? Start studying ages before the test, revising the lectures right after the lectures everyday, referring to countless textbooks, living in the library, literally. And this is just for the summatives. Come EoS, some people might even resort to eating the lecture notes or something..i dunno. Humans are creative creatures, no? (not this creature here tho)

Do med students really have to resort to spending more time with med books than living objects? I never seem to get why do some people put so much stress on themselves. What's with the panic? Why work so hard till you might suffer brain failure and drop dead any moment now? Why can't everyone just take things slowly and enjoy life? Why can't everyone stop going to the library? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE STOP STUDYING?? ARGGHH..NERDS!! NERDS!! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY!! .. Oh wait.. i'm supposed to be one of them, right? =/

Anyway, that's not the main idea. I'm in no position to mock or tease other people, mainly because i suppose i'm the one who's not 'normal'. Maybe Ben was right, maybe my sympathetic nervous system really had gone haywire since the day i was born. That might explain why i never seem to study for exams hard enough. Sometimes i felt i should panic because i haven't finish revising yet and the countdown is showing hours. Yet i'll take my own sweet time to study. It's amazing how you can annoy yourself.

Some people said that i'm a smart-ass, that i'm a genius, that's why i don't even need to study to score. Yeah, right. If i was i would have gotten my doctorate by now =P. And i would be sleeping the whole day everyday (no, i DO NOT do that). I'd never think that i'm smart nor agree with that, coz i don't believe anybody can be labelled smart or 'unsmart'. Dunno how people come to have that impression of me after a while, me being a smart-ass. I was never the one with the best results, and neither am i the one who can answer any question you ask (sadly, it's the other way). I do study as hard as anyone to get A, so please don't think i have a secret method to get A or something =)

Conclusion: I don't think i'll like my Summative 1 results, coz i've been wasting my time sleeping and playing the last week instead of studying. Guess i'll have to work harder for the next summatives then..which is like 8 weeks away =/. Bloody hell.. do they think med students really have no life but to study everyday or what..

med students have no life?

Some people thinks med students have to eat books to survive. Some people thinks med students' lives revolve around studying. Some people thinks med students don't even have a life.

Well, that's what i thought, like, a few years ago anyway. Coz people always say that medicine is the hardest course to take. That when you sign up for Medicine, you already signed the i'm-ready-to-give-up-my-life contract.

Only 8 weeks in, i'm already feeling the pressure on med students. Or rather, the pressure med students put on themselves. Some of my batchmates already started growing roots in the library. Reading thru lecture notes for the 278th time, referring to textbooks after textbooks after textbooks, adding essays to their already crammed notes. All this just because our first summatives is in 8 days. Scary.

Sadly, i don't belong to that group at all. Or maybe it's luckily i'm still holding onto my sanity =P. Either way, i won't be having a great time on the 24th if i continue doing what i'm doing. Studying an hour a day, playing 3 hours a day, rotting away doing nothing for the rest of the day. That's not what a med student should do, right?

At least i'm happy with my life at the moment. Two days of badminton, two days of basketball last week. Nothing can make a better week =). Yeah, i love badminton and basketball.. they're my first two loves =P.

So three weeks behind schedule, only half of my studies done, a week plus to redeem myself as a med student. Time to start spending more time with Sem 1 students' common wife, Meriab (the textbook i mean.. not the author). Yeah, i'm giving up my life for the next week.. because i'm a med student =P

Extra note: Two new bloggies were born.. say hello to my fellow med peepz Chia Huan and Chui Han! =)

Extra unwanted note: Finally found out my new favourite song's name.. My Chemical Romance - Helena! =)

too busy, i got myself..

Today was the Societies and Clubs of IMU's recruitment drive. Something like, the reps from each society/club sit at the tables at the atrium, you go to them, you put down your name if you wanna join. There's quite a lot of clubs to join, and most of them sounds interesting. As usual, this over-enthusiastic boy here got excited over everything. And an hour later, i realised i signed up for too many clubs that i won't even have time to sleep anymore if i decided to go for every activity. Whoa..that's a big sacrifice =P

Movie & Music, Chinese Chess, Chinese Martial Arts Club, Basketball, Volleyball, Tennis, Helen Keller's Society (something related to the deaf and dumb), Choir, Dance Club. 9 clubs. Didn't see the SPCA there tho..that'll make my 10th club. O.o . Was tempted to join the Adventure Club (which only has 2 new members..so forget bout it), Chinese Society (my chinese sucks..so forget bout that too), Dharma Society (looks pretty boring to me..so scrap that), Campus Friends (too many clubs..can't handle this one), Amigoo Club (no more..i need to sleep..) and Badminton (training on Sat? goodbye..).

Damn..i thought i came to IMU to study medicine. Now it looks more like i'm trying to enjoy myself instead of studying. Oh yeah and there's already a clash of activities' times..volleyball or sign language class? Wait..have to study first. Haven't even finish half of what i need to cover..damn. 11 days to Summative... garrgghh.. Get my priorities straight.. get my priorities straight..

Oh btw yesterday's my big bro's birthday! Happy..erm..21st birthday!! So fast..old liao lor..haha. Cheers to you, koko..stay happy always! Bought only one piece of cake from Secret Recipe as his birthday present coz my funds running dry..again. It's the thought that matters anyway, right? =P. Thanks to Chow for driving me to Secret Recipe even tho he looks like he's gonna fall asleep behind the wheel anytime =)

happy days..

a ball to call my own
Yup, i finally have my own ball. One i can proudly say i possess. One i can freely use anytime i want =). I bought my first basketball! (THOSE come free..and yes, i have them =P). Haha..ok i sound like a child opening his Christmas present or something, but seriously, i've never had my own basketball before. Maybe i just don't play basketball much before this =/. That's gonna change ;)

Got it for 34 bucks (ouch..) from Carrefour yesterday, and right after we got home we rushed to the IMU basketball court to play. Around 8 of us (excluding the 'cheerleaders' =P), playing basketball at 10pm. Not long after we started the Sem3 library furniture joined (coz the library closes edi), and it became Sem1 against Sem3. I don't know which side won, but it doesn't matter anyway. We had fun, and it's been a really long time since basketball standards were so low haha..

The Sem3 left after an hour, then we played 3on3 till 12am. We wouldn't have stopped playing if there's no classes tomorrow...which start at 8pm O.o . Another sleep-deprived day for me..

choir club's apparently 'best' performance
Yeah, another performance by the choir club, this time for the IMU Art Competition. Sang 'Eyes on Me' and 'I'm Cow' on stage. Halfway singing i realised my palms were sweating so much ^^. Think we did alright, though i can't say it's an award-winning performance =P. YK said it was the best performance by the choir club O.o . Apparently they screwed up the IMU song last year ^^". We broke the record for number of members too hehe. Congrats to Hong Lim, our new Choir Club's president! (argh..forgot what's that VP pharmacy student's name again...)

Happy birthday to Mommy =)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAMA! It's her birthday today, and i felt bad not getting anything for her...again. Me so unfillial son. But then it's never been a tradition in my family to buy birthday presents anyway, strange as it may seem. I hope she's satisfied with only birthday wishes over the phone =P. Me loves you lots mama! Stay healthy and happy! =)

The end of IMU Cup...on a happy note?

Yesterday was IMU Cup closing ceremony. After bout a month of rigorous, sleep-depriving training and matches, life finally gonna revert back to hugging books and lecture notes to sleep for us students of IMU. The past month had been nothing but fun, with every batch trying their best, every player giving their best. I wanted to go and support our batch's teams in every game, but somehow i found countless reasons to go against that. I'm too tired la...not free la...dunno how to go there la...Maybe i'm just plain lazy sigh.. =P

Before the closing ceremony was the cheerleading competition. I can't find any superlatives to describe it, so let's just say i would kill myself if i missed it haha ;). Yeah, it was THAT mind-blowing. Started off at bout 8pm, with Sem2 showing off their moves first. I actually thought they were great, but for one reason or another, somehow they got last =/. Then it's Pharmacy's turn. All girls team. Enough said =P. Haha...seriously, Pharmacy's team gave a really awesome performance..they even throw girls up in the air (without any guys' help!). And their coordination was just superb.. Sem4 came next, then Sem3. I guess everyone noticed.. there's so much feet-stomping and hand-clapping to make 'music'. Haha...maybe YP was right...everyone's suffering from post-Stomp withdrawal syndrome (damnit..i missed Stomp =( .. )

After that it's our batch's turn. Frankly, i thought our team's performance would look inferior compared to the others, but i guess i should've never doubt them. Why do i have so little confidence in our own team? *slaps myself*. It was the most entertaining performance, i gotta say haha. Love the 'Thriller' and 'Lady Marmalade' part..so funny haha. And i didn't even know our batchmates on the first floor were joining in the moves (they twitched their heads to the left, in rhythm with our cheerleading team ^^ - that was part of the 'Thriller' part). Guess the judges were impressed, eh? We got fourth place! Congrats ppl! =) hehe...i'd love to join cheerleading next year..it seems so much fun. That is, if my fractured wrist fully healed by then...

And last but definitely not least..Sem5 cheerleading squad. I've seen them practicing in the Atrium, and i was really impressed then. Now, watching them performing the full routine right in front of me, my opinions remain unchanged. Complete with chairs, they were nothing short of perfect. Ok, there was a few mistakes here and there haha =P..but that doesn't prevent them from clinching the first place. Congrats to the M203 squad! Guess our team has a lot to learn..i like the way Sem5's performance never stop (unlike ours, so many breaks in between ^^"). Pharmacy came second, Sem3 third. A really close fight, surely..

The final results of IMU Cup - M204 edged M203 by 2 points to claim the Cup. And us M205 'pau' the last place haha =P. Of all the sports, we bagged golds for guys' basketball and international chess only =/. Ah well, there's always next year...and next year, we'll grab the Cup from M204..even if that means prying it from their dead, cold fingers muhahahaha (*evil laughter*).. =P

On a different note, i read bout some conflicts here and there during the IMU Cup. Claims that Sem5 were cheating. That referees were biased. Some say it was because of the 'legacy' left by the previous Sem5s. Apparently, this year's IMU Cup was supposed to be the first 'clean' one. The previous IMU Cups had been rigged and dominated by Sem5s, and needless to say, Sem5 always win the IMU Cup. As organisers, Sem5 had total control over the competition. More points were allocated to sports that they were good at. Sports that they suck at were dropped. Referees were always on their side. That's what i heard anyway.

Well, if i haven't heard or read bout those stuff, i'd never knew IMU Cup was never a fair competition before this. Which, i guess i've to give credit to the current Sem5, M203, who tried to make it as fair as possible to everyone. To any M203-ian reading this, you all did a great job really. I don't think us Sem1 would realize bout IMU Cup's 'legacy' if no one mentioned it. That means you all succeeded in starting a new legacy of fair play ;). Thanks for working so hard hehe..

Sigh...no more IMU Cup, nothing much to look forward to now, except exams and more exams..till next year's IMU Cup. Gotta increase my pace to catch up on my studies, there's so much i left behind..and our first Summative is in 3 weeks time!! Arrgghh.. *scrambles off to grab the closest lecture note to cram into my head*

this weekend..

The weekend didn't go exactly as i planned, but then again, when did anything go exactly the way i planned ..

Friday, 2 days ago, Karanbir made an announcement that shut everyone and everything up (in my head la =P). Something about SPCA Club of IMU asking for 20+ volunteers (fat hope..) for the Pets Fair at the Mines Exhibition Hall. The moment i heard that announcement, something stirred in me. I knew i couldn't stop myself from signing up for that. Even tho every cell in my body's begging me to keep my weekend free (i've been getting less than 7 hours of sleep for the whole week..5 hours short of what i need =P). Even tho i didn't know what we're supposed to do...even after the whole thing's over ^^"

And so i woke up at 7.30am on a SATURDAY. O.o Yeah, i couldn't believe i did that too. haha.. Of those who signed up (i swear there's at least 4..), only me and Chee Mei turned up yesterday morning. Jenny drove us to the place, and after standing around the ticket counter for half an hour waiting for tickets to fall from the sky, we finally got into the hall.

And then there were dogs. Lots of them. Big dogs, small dogs, fat dogs, skinny dogs. Everywhere. German shepherds, chihuahuas, poodles, you name it, it's there. I've never been to a pet fair before, so it's really interesting...for the first half an hour.

An SPCA member greeted us and brought us to the SPCA stall, briefed on what we're supposed to know, and left me and Chee Mei there.
List of what we're supposed to do (not according to order in priority):
1. Get the visitors to sign the petition (you know, the one we signed before..something bout raising the penalty for cruelty to animals by 50 times..or was it 500 times..)
2. Sell the SPCA clothes
3. Answer any question the visitors might ask (wtf.. we weren't even SPCA members)

List of what we did:
1. Sit
2. Stay

So as you can see..we didn't really do anything. The 'real' SPCA members came back after bout an hour, taking over me and Chee Mei's work (that we didn't do anyway). For the next 4 hours, we poked and poked and poked the puppies in the cages at the stall next to ours till all the puppies got bored of our pokings and fell asleep (even when we kept on poking ^^"). Haha..we also walked around the hall.. nothing much actually, besides the 'obstacle course' and fashion parade, there's nothing much to see..

Our last hour got us a bit more active. 3 dogs were brought from the shelter for some 'obedience' performance - to show that even non-pedigree dogs can be trained to be obedient. After their performances they were free to roam around.. as far as their leashes allow them to. Me and Chee Mei were given the job to hold the leashes, which was ..fun haha =P. Mine was called Doggie..and she has one hell of a story to tell..

After Doggie gave birth to a litter of puppies (which the previous owner didn't want), she was locked up in a room while the puppies are abandoned at a construction site nearby. Everyday, she was only allowed out once to do her business, eat, etc. And everyday she ran over to her puppies to nurse them. And each time she came back from her puppies, the owner would beat her up. Then lock her up till the next day.

This went on for about a month until SPCA was informed about it by some neighbours. And after some persuasion the owner gave up Doggie to SPCA. (why the hell keep a dog in the first place if you aren't gonna care for it??)

Some people can be so cruel sometimes. What the hell did the dog do that it deserves such treatment. Sigh.. Anyway, we went back to Vista at 4pm, and i fell asleep on the new couch after dinner. Forgot to take my contacts off. Hope there's no side effects for that =/

Sunday, woke up at 1pm, wanted to study, but ended up playing computer the whole day. Sigh.. i gotta find my motivation soon...

PS - we found out something interesting at the Pets Fair.. there's a dog breed called Chow Chow! Lol..

Me and Chee Mei agreed that it looked like Chow a lot, doesn't it? haha =P

We learn all our lives..

I've learned..

..that it is absolutely possible to feel everything yet nothing at all.. My mood has been oscillating so much these days, sometimes i don't even know whether i'm happy or sad. Everything that happened around me, everything that happened to me, seems to pull my emotions towards opposite directions. I don't know what i'm feeling right now..what i'm SUPPOSED to feel. Happy yet sad. Elated yet disappointed. Proud yet ashamed. I just felt...torn apart. It felt empty inside, i can't feel anything..yet i felt everything..

..that for every win, someone loses..
Our team won first place in the basketball competition in IMU Cup yesterday, beating Pharmacy to it. On one hand, i'm rather happy i think, for we'd done our batch proud. Practice doesn't make perfect, it takes determination. Joseph fought his pain and led us to victory, playing with a sprained ankle. I gotta salute him for that, not many people can even claim to be able to do that. On the other hand, i felt sad. Sad that we've to throw my bro's team out of the running for gold medals to get the gold medals ourselves. Disappointed that i didn't get to play in the finals, even though i knew i'd jeopardize our chances. Ashamed that as Wei Loong puts it, "We don't deserve to get first place. Only 3 players in our team are good..but the whole of the other team is good." We win, but at the expense of others..even others more deserving than us.

..that a single event can change your future..
Just received a call from my Dad. Bad news. Lee Foundation decided to cover only half of my tuition fees in IMU. Which means my Dad won't be able to afford to send me overseas. Which means i won't be going to PMS. No, i'm not sad. I already understood years beforehand that i might not be able to study abroad, considering my family's financial situation. But i had hoped, and it's not a good feeling to have your hope shattered, even if it's just a glimmer of hope you had. Disappointed maybe, but no, i'm certainly not sad. Just.. broken.

..that friendships are easy to build, even easier to break, but as difficult to mend as a smashed tofu..
Sometimes it happens. Friendships, built up over months, broke down over weeks, and never mend completely. I never liked to see friends fall out on each other, for it hurts my heart when i see friendships collapsed. Maybe it's because i'm a sentimental person, maybe it's because i don't want to be caught in between two 'ex-friends', maybe i just want everyone to be friends. Whatever it is, whatever i think does not matter as i hold nothing over others' friendships. They make and break friends as they like. I can just hope they make up and not ask me to choose sides instead.

..and that in doubt or confusion, friends make me happy =)
Came back from dinner today at Sri Petaling with Chow, Ben, Jane June, Vincent and Jackie, and i felt more 'banana' than ever haha. This is the first time in 2 years i've been in an all-Mandarin speaking group (even tho i'm quite surprised to know they can speak Mandarin so well). Something tells me i have to improve my Mandarin/Cantonese ^^". Had laughs, lots of laughs, and i felt that everything's that has been dragging me down seem so insignificant in my life. Life's meant to be lived. And living doesn't include feeling down over nothing at all. So to my friends, cheers and LIVE~

PS - gonna be a volunteer at the Pet Fair organised by SPCA at the Mines tomorrow =). Signed up for it coz firstly, i love animals hehe. Secondly, i'd most probably be sleeping my weekend away anyway so might as well i do something productive =P.